A Heart to Heart with a Plastic Surgeon
by waitingFORthePERFECTsong9092
Summary: When a twist of fate takes James Diamond, an aspiring plastic surgeon, to shadow Dr. Logan Mitchell, an esteemed cardiologist, the last thing James thought would happen was that he'd not only like Logan, but fall in love with him too. AU Jagan slash, collab with ilovecarlospena93.
1. Chapter 1

A Heart to Heart with a Plastic Surgeon

_**AN: So this is my first story I am publishing on . I've been writing fan fiction for about a year and a half now, but on my tumblr (no slash) that I share with my best friend. I've loved Big Time Rush pretty much since the beginning, and love both the tv show and music alike. However, my friend Christa ( .carlospena93) has been pushing me to write slash for this website. I've been on this website for about a year and a half, always a reader though. Now I'm trying my hand at slash, with the help of collaboration with Christa. **_

_**I would first like to start off with a funny little story about my friend Christa. I was reading her fic "All I Want for Christmas is Kendall Knight" and as I was reading, I recognized some familiar places, including the setting to where she set the story. I decided to PM and ask her if I was thinking of the same place she described. As it turned out, it was indeed, and we just started talking about some familiar places and found out that was her hometown. After sharing some similarities, our friendship went beyond fanfiction and went to skype where we have been in constant contact with each other for quite a while. Now that we both know we are around the same area, we talk about meeting up in person and what we're going to do, since it is possible. One night, I share some pictures with Christa over skype and all of a sudden her face blanches, and she catches herself in a major déjà vu moment. Upon asking if she is ok, she proceeds to tell me that she has met me before, very briefly. As briefly as almost colliding into me, and we share a little conversation. I then deeply try to remember the whole situation, and as she's spouting more information about what happened and what was going on, I remember. Who knew on the world wide web 2 girls could literally collide into each other, in real life, and not even realize it?**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush or anything else you may recognize. If I did, I'd rule the world. Cue the music…**_

James Diamond. 2 words, 12 letters, 1 hell of a person. Men and women, straight and gay, appreciate the man who is James Diamond. He can make an impression on anyone, and not even be in the room. Everyone seems to know James Diamond, the cocky, bullshit James Diamond. But practically no one knows the vulnerable, lion-hearted, James Diamond. The James that everyone sees knows his audience. He's a player, and knows how to play on people's emotions, and knows how to get what he wants. Let it be for sex, or for some good company (because even James Diamond gets lonely), James knows what he wants and how to get it. James wasn't picky, and if one day a "smokin' hot" male decides to attract his attention over an "ehh she's ok" female, well he'd go for option a, if a threesome cannot be accomplished. In a nutshell, he's what everyone describes as "swings for both teams", and honestly, he's never thought twice about how some people could take it. All he wants is a good fuck sometimes, is that too hard to ask?

As class droned on for James Diamond, he couldn't help but think about last night's party and how it ended as a foursome… or was it a five some? _is there even such a thing as a five some? _His reverie was interrupted by Professor Collins, who he might add has a "fabulous rack" and a "fantastic ass" with the personality of a "dead fish"… But personality wasn't everything in a woman, especially when they're pinned to a bed moaning and sweating against the washboard abs of James Diamond. In that situation, her personality would be the last thing on his mind, or the fact that she bitched a lot, but anything could be solved with a gag. "Diamond… Diamond… DIAMOND!" he hears which yanks his mind to the classroom, from the bedroom. "Diamond, would it kill you to listen every once in a while?" Professor Collins challenges James. "Maybe if that new push-up bra you're wearing didn't make your boobs look so perky, I might be able to concentrate on your face." James retorts with a sly grin and smirk to match. "Just pay attention, this is important, or would you like to hear it from Dean Griffin instead? I'm sure he'd be glad to see you for the umpteenth time this month?" she threatened with sarcasm. "Well at least Griffin doesn't wear a push-up bra to bring all the boys to the yard." He smartly responds back. He decides he'd rather suck it up and listen to it from the babe with the rack rather than the guy who, although he won't admit and it pains him to admit, is the only guy who could intimidate the James Diamond.

As he actively progresses in his notes, he hears a change in the direction of the lecture and forces himself to listen, putting aside the painful reminder of last night's activities and alcohol consumption in his head. Professor Collins starts off as follows:

"Class, we've come to the time in your medical school education where you shadow a senior doctor in the area of medicine you may have an interest in. This is crucial because sometimes you may come to the conclusion, in which the area you thought you wanted to go into may not actually be the area you want to go into. You start with your doctor tomorrow, and as I announce your doctors, you will be given some contact info telling a little about themselves, including their area of medicine, and at what times you are to report to them for your duties as their shadows. Tomorrow, however, is only a consultation day, where you are to get to know your doctor and who you will be working with for the rest of the semester. You cannot change who you work with, as everyone has been assigned, unless compelling evidence promotes a change in doctors. So James, just because your doctor isn't "hot" enough for you does not prove that you cannot work with them. Now as I end the class, please make your way to the front of the classroom for your assignment."

James, just like everyone, heads to the front of the classroom where he awaits his future doctor. Best case scenario, the doctor is "smokin' hot" and they will have hot passionate sex on an examination table before the end of the week. Worse case scenario, he'll actually have to do work. As he continues to sort out pros and cons of this situation, he hears Professor Collins call his name, as she gives him the proper information.

"James Diamond, you are to work with Doctor Logan Mitchell, who works in the area of cardiology-"

"Wait, cardiology?" as James interrupted Professor Collins, "I'm studying plastic surgery… you know boob enhancement, and all those other procedures that make people pretty? Even though I don't need plastic surgery, because I'm naturally pretty, which makes me awesome so…"

"As you so rudely interrupted me, I was saying that you were assigned to Dr. Logan Mitchell because Dr. Constable already has an intern and doesn't have time for a shadow. But don't worry, Logan's a good guy."

As dread filled James's demeanor, he walked out of the classroom not letting his predicament ruin his post five some glow. He doesn't cardiologists and he actually has a pretty good reason why, but no one knows why except for James himself. He rushes to the parking lot where his BMW 3 series convertible is waiting for him. Up against the front passenger door, his friend Kendall Knight patiently waits for James to give him a ride back to their shared apartment. They nod to each other

"So dude, how was class? Did you get your shadow assignment?" Kendall questions.

"Yeah, unfortunately some shit about the real doctor I'm supposed to shadow was unavailable, so I got this heart doctor Logan Mitchell. I think the real reason why the plastic surgeon doctor wasn't available for me because he was afraid of the great James Diamond. I mean seriously, not everyone can handle the god." James returns while doing his infamous "jazz hands" mantra.

"Well, I was assigned to nurse Carlos Garcia. He sounds Latin, and probably will make this semester into a little fiesta." Kendall announces

"Well while you're having a fiesta, I'll be taking a siesta. Dude, this Logan quack sounds like a bore. I mean he's probably 50 years old who needs to get laid by his wife more."

"And you wouldn't help him out in that area? I mean no one can deny James Diamond."

"Yeah, no one can deny James Diamond" James repeats, "And I'm sure, with a few choice words, I can be working the field in no time."

"Ok James" Kendall relents "But please, do it the right way, and at least try to be respectful, although I know how hard it could be for you."

"Kendall, I hear what you are saying, but I make no promises" James smirks his reply

They make it safely back to the apartment, where they both retire to their rooms to recount what happened in the day. However, James can't get out of his mind how horrible this semester will be, and how he could possibly trust a cardiologist, after what happened with his grandmother.

We will see what tomorrow brings…


	2. Chapter 2

_**AN: I would like to thank **__ilovecarlospena93, fanmin, The Weasley Way, and LoveSparkle __**for all your alerts, favorites and reviews. I'm so happy about the turn out so far, and its encouraging me to continue. From the amount of views this story has so far, I wish there were more reviews though! **_

_**Also, Merry Christmas to all of you who celebrate! And to those who live on the east coast (towards new york at least), we're getting a semi-white Christmas! Pretty cool! So anyways, onwards and upwards :) **_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush or anything you may recognize. What would I do if I did? Maybe I should actually start a list…**_

Logan Mitchell is a simple guy. He doesn't ask for much, and enjoys the simple things in life. In fact, his constant everyday routine is what helps keep him sane. He wakes up at precisely 6:15am, and hops into a no longer than 10 minute shower. He gets out, and dresses in his usual boxer briefs, pair of slacks (either black, grey, tan, or navy, no color in between), button down shirt (well, thanks to his mom and friends, he has many shirts in various colors, so much so he's color coordinated his closet so it goes in order of the rainbow), a tie to go with that particular button down shirt (again, too many colors and styles to choose from), and his black merril loafers. He feeds his cat, Sampson, while he makes his 2 scrambled eggs and 3 slices of bacon. His coffee maker is set so it automatically brews a fresh pot every morning so Logan doesn't have to deal with the process on his very structured schedule. He's out the door no later than 7:30 to arrive at the hospital to start his rounds at 8am sharp!

Logan's home is the hospital. He was born to be a doctor, and upon researching back in middle school what area of medicine he wanted to go into, he knew cardiology would be his expertise. He's been dubbed the real "Doogie Howser", by graduating high school at 16 with his perfect SAT scores and above average grades, only spending 2 years at New York University (he aced all his necessary classes and sped through all the pre-med major classes), and completed Columbia Med in a record of 2 years as well. He's been in the field of cardiology for about 4 years now, and truthfully, his life couldn't be any better. His best friend, Carlos Garcia, is a nurse in the same hospital Logan works at (not by coincidence of course) and his other best friend Camille makes sure Logan gets out of his comfort zone every once in a while. Logan has a super close relationship with his mother, his father being absent since he was 5. His cat, Sampson, also helps him from being truly alone in his penthouse of an apartment.

As soon as Logan entered the hospital this morning, he knew today would be one of those "non-routine" days as he enters his office. He sees a few important notices on his desk, mainly patient files he needs to read. As he's organizing his desk for the day, he sees a couple of notices that are not usually present on his desk. According to the papers, it seems that Logan will finally have a shadow this semester. He's had success with previous shadows, and even keeps in touch with the ones that actually work in the hospital presently. Meanwhile he's reading about the shadow and comes across a few things. The shadow's name is James Diamond. He's 23 years old and wants to be a plastic surgeon. Wait, a plastic surgeon? Logan's a cardiologist… How does a cardiologist mentor a plastic surgeon?

He does some research on James Diamond, the last name sounding familiar. He warms up his computer on his desk and fires up Google. The first result yields an article about Brooke Diamond _oh so that's where James Diamond sounds familiar_ and her new line of skin care products to help "rejuvenate your skin to make you look 20 years younger". Apparently this is big news these days, because every major news website has a report on it. He reads a different article, one from a lesser-known news website and it talks about Brooke's son James and his venture into med school, and how it's such a surprise coming from the type of person James is. Logan can only picture the type of person James is. Logan doesn't like to judge, hell he doesn't want anyone to judge him. But how can one not have a preconceived notion for a person like James Diamond? That article is making James out to be some rich, snobby, playboy that has no problem with wasting his mother's fortune away. Logan may think of investing in a semester's worth of Advil just to keep the chronic headaches away. But, let's not make assumptions, even when those assumptions may actually be reality.

He reads more of the paper and sees that James is to report to his office today for the consultation meeting. He wonders why people don't give him more time to prep for something like this, especially when it's James Diamond he has to deal with. Luckily he has all morning to mentally prepare, because it seems like the meeting is a lunch meeting at 1:00pm. He leaves his office to start making rounds when he bumps into none other than his friend Carlos, and although its 8:15am, Carlos has the energy of a five year old on crack. But that's Carlos, the little kid trapped in a 24 year olds body.

"What's up Logan? How was your night?" Carlos questions Logan as soon as Logan is in sight.

"Eh same as usual, watched the new episode of Glee and hung out with Sampson. Nothing new. So, did you get your shadow?"

"Yeah! I got this person named Kendall Knight! But, I can't tell if Kendall is a boy or a girl, because Kendall can be a boy or a girl name. I wonder if the person is going to be hot, it would be amazing if Kendall was hot!"

"Whoa, settle down, Carlos" Logan warns, "Seems to me that Kendall will definitely have a wild semester with you. But don't wear him out, not everyone has an energy level as high as you do."

"Aw, Logan, don't be such a party pooper. Besides, I'm sure your shadow will be just like you, a nerdy, genius wannabe."

"Well think again Carlitos. They gave me James Diamond-"

"Wait, did you just say James Diamond?" Carlos interrupts, "The James Diamond? The son of beauty expert Brooke Diamond? The James Diamond that is mentioned in all those magazines? The James Diamond that is extremely HOT? I guess that's why I haven't read about him in a while; I guess med school does that to ya. I never thought he'd be a cardiologist though."

"See that's the thing! Carlos, he wants to be a plastic surgeon, but he was placed with me instead. I guess they couldn't find any plastic surgeons he could shadow under."

"He would be a plastic surgeon! Everyone knows James likes boys and girls. He can work with people's boobies!"

"Seriously Carlos!" Logan swipes a hand over his face, "I'm sure there's more to him being a plastic surgeon than women's breasts."

"No, I think it's because he can see women and men naked and can work with people's boobies."

"Well, I guess you're the James Diamond expert then…"

As Carlos fills Logan in on various James Diamond antics, Logan couldn't help but wonder if this term would actually be rewarding. He's always felt rewarded after helping someone out with their doctorate dreams, but there's something about this feeling he's getting about James that just makes him want to enlist in the hair club for men now, because he just knows he will be pulling out so much hair.

As Logan goes and checks on his patients, he notices the time fly and already, its 12:50, 10 minutes before he's expecting James. He goes to his office and prepares for his lunch meeting. He hasn't decided whether he'll take and treat James out for lunch or just simply stay in the cafeteria and eat there. He'll let James decide.

It's 1:15, and James still hasn't arrived. This throws Logan off because he's used to following a schedule and he knows when someone is ordered to be at someplace at a certain time, he will make sure he's there before that time. He's never encountered someone (other than Carlos) who has no problem with being late for an appointment. 1:20, 1:30, 1:35, 1:40 rolls around and James still isn't here. He only has 20 more minutes before he has to get back to work, and he's feeling even more disconcerted about this situation. Although he knows everything is probably ok, he hopes James hasn't gotten into a god forbid car accident on the way, or some other accident has-

"Hey, are you Doctor Logan Mitchell?"

"Are you James Diamond?" Logan questions.

"Sorry I'm late, had to take care of things ya know." And he pats Logan's shoulder like they're old pals. Logan feels slightly uncomfortable with that.

"You could've called, it's 1:45, and we only have 15 minutes to talk. I have to get back to the floor at 2pm, and we need a full hour to talk about everything."

"Dude, seriously, chillax! You can tell me everything in these 15 minutes. I swear I'm a fast learner." James mentions

"But James, we need a full hour to go over everything! In this field, you can't cut corners. Cardiology is a big deal."

"Yeah about that, is there some way you can transform yourself into a plastic surgeon? Because that's what I want to be, I never asked for cardiology."

"Yeah, why are you here? You should be with a plastic surgeon." Logan questions

"Yeah, Professor Collins told me that the plastic surgeon doc I was supposed to shadow under had no time for me, so they assigned me to you. But seriously, how does no one have time for me? I mean, I'm James Diamond! Everyone makes time for me!"

"Well James, not everyone can make time for you. And that's a lesson you'll learn in life. You cant always get what you want."

"Well I always do, so I demand you turn into a plastic surgeon so you can teach me all about how to make people prettier. Well I already know how to do that, but all the medical things and stuff about it."

Logan takes a deep breath "James, I can't do that. And it's now 2pm; I must be getting back to the floor. Seriously, I haven't even gone over what we were supposed to go over. How are you going to be able to start working under me next week if you have no clue about what you're doing?"

"How old are you Doctor Logan?"

"24, but what does that have to do with anything?" Logan uncomfortable questions.

"Oh you're young! You shouldn't be worrying over these things; you could make yourself get a heart attack. Oh wait, you're a cardiologist! You can cure yourself" James claps and laughs, like he's just discovered something vital.

"I'll worry about that later. But seriously James, we need to go over this stuff before Monday. Can you come here sometime between tomorrow and Sunday to talk about this stuff?"

James ponders this for a quick second. A smirk slowly forms on his almost perfect facial features. "How about you and me this Saturday night at the Cornerstone Restaurant at 7pm? Clarissa behind the bar knows me and she can always fit me in." He winks as he optimistically looks for Logan's answer.

"James, please keep this professional."

"Hey, you're the one turning this into something it doesn't have to be. I just asked you to meet me at a restaurant where we can discuss business. I never said it had to be anything else other than that…"

"But James, it's not proper etiquette, and we don't know each other at all, and you think I'm going to meet you at some restaurant. Think again."

"But c'mon Doc, at least you'll get a free meal out of this. And you'll be seen with one of the hottest guys in the state. That is the best perk of all."

"Doctor Mitchell, you're wanted on the 3rd floor." A nurse popped her head into Logan's office.

"James, I don't have time to argue with you right now. How about you just show up at the hospital sometime tomorrow and we'll discuss. But now I need to go." Logan quickly grabs his files and exits the office, leaving James behind.

-line break-

James can't help but feel he's being dismissed. Yes, he has a reputation, but there's something about Dr. Logan that makes him want to actually try. It also helps that Logan has this cute nerd aura going on that James can't help but find attracting. But James is afraid Logan is just looking for some way to pass him off. He's tired of not being treated fairly. James decides to leave his cell number on a post-it note on Logan's desk. On the note James said "Please Dr. Mitchell, just meet me on Saturday at 7pm. I promise, no funny business! 555-5309". James takes a deep breath and hopes this all can work out.

-line break-

As Logan works the floor, he goes over what just happened, and how James is just how he pictured him, how Carlos described him. He's not too optimistic about making a difference in James's life, but damn it, he will try. As time passes by, he see's its just about time for him to leave. He says goodbye to his patients, and strides to his office to collect his belongings. He rummages around and sees a little post-it note from James. He didn't expect that.

_**So, there's chapter 2, and you get a look into Logan's life. Please review! Let me know what you think! Again, I'm new to writing slash, so any thought counts! And also, once again, I hope everyone has a safe and Merry Christmas!**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**AN: I would like to thank **__LoveSparkle, and Twilightgirl434 __**for your alerts, favs, and reviews. I always appreciate when people take the time to review a story. Sadly, I wish more people would review, and let me know how I'm doing. Reviews are the fuel to what keeps me going, and although I will always write, I just want some feedback from this website. So as a Christmas gift, would you be so kindly to review? I see a lot of traffic for this fic, but I wish it could be translated into more reviews.**_

_**Christa (ilovecarlospena93) wrote the first part of this chapter, and I thank her for it because I just couldn't figure out how to write what I was imagining! Thank god we think similarly, so her view of the concept I shared with her was basically my view!**_

_**Also, if any of you guys want to create a cover image for this story, be my guest! Just PM me and I'll give you my email should you want to send some. **_

_**Anyways, once again, hoping everyone is having a safe and Merry Christmas! Can't believe there's only a week left of 2012. So crazy how fast this year has gone! But 2013 will be a good year, I can feel it!**_

_**Sorry for the super long authors note, now for the DISCLAIMER: I do not own Big Time Rush, or anything you may recognize. If I did, I would want all of them (preferably naked) as my only Christmas gifts (I'm Jewish so I don't celebrate Christmas haha)**_

"Logan, you really need to get a grip. Think about what you are saying to me. You have made every assumption in the book about James, and you met him for all of what? Five minutes?" Camille chastised her friend as they sat eating their dinner of salad together. Logan hopped up from the seat.

"Cam, you have no idea. He is the cockiest, most conceited, son of a bitch I have ever met. He literally demanded for me to become a plastic surgeon because that is what he is majoring in. Can you believe the nerve?" Logan paced, throwing his hands in the air in disbelief. Only a man like James Diamond could reduce the great Dr. Logan Mitchell to talking with his hands like a maniac.

"I can believe that you two are perfectly matched up." Camille responded with chagrin in her voice.

"What the hell do you mean by that?" Logan stopped abruptly, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I mean that you are so stuck in your routines and your plannings, you have a list for everything, you need someone to drag you out of this ditch you are in. Everything, day in and day out, is the same." Camille stood up from the dining room table in Logan's penthouse, and grasped hold of his upper arms.

"I like it that way. It makes me feel safe." There were time, this being one of them; Logan could literally look like a scared little boy.

"You see, that is your problem right there. Sometimes feeling safe is the most detrimental thing you can be. When you are safe, you don't let the outside world in, and you are stuck in this perfect bubble. You can't have adventures in a bubble, Logie."

"Cam, what are you getting at?"

"I think you should go to the restaurant. I think you should dress up sexy, strut in there with the swag I know you have hidden somewhere in that genius body, and sweep Diamond off his feet. Show him that you are the boss, and that he will learn from you."

"It sounds more like you want me to date him than anything!"

"Well, a girl can hope! You came out to me about you being gay two years ago, and I have yet to see you go on a date."

"I'm too busy!"

"Then make time! You are never going to be truly happy until you find that person you are supposed to spend the rest of your life with. Maybe that's Diamond, who knows, but don't just sweep him under the rug because he is the complete opposite of you. You, of all people, should know that opposites attract."

Logan sat back down, shoving pieces of romaine lettuce around the plate with his fork. He hated when she was right. He so badly wanted to hate James with every fiber of his being, but he knew he needed to give him a chance.

"Fine. But if he doesn't shape up, I am leaving. He makes one more stupid sexual joke to me, I will get up and walk out." Logan held up his right index finger, pointing it right at his friend.

"Thank you! Finally! Just give him a chance. He might surprise you." She couldn't be happier!

"Somehow, I really doubt that. But I love you, and I know you just want me to expand my horizons, so I am going to do this. I'll even text him right now." Logan reached into his pocket, retrieving his iPhone, and pulling up James's contact information.

_"Hey James. I have considered your idea, and have decided that we could do the dinner thing on Saturday."_

Logan sighed heavily as he pressed the send button, watching the green conversation bubble pop up on the screen. Camille patted him on the back, truly proud that he was doing this. She knew that this was about the last thing he wanted to do.

"I think you are going to have a fantastic time." She reassured.

"We'll see." Just as he said that he heard the "_beep beep beep"_ of his heart monitor ringtone go off. He unlocked his phone and was greeted with these words.

_"Hey Sexy! Glad to hear that! Oh, btw, what are you wearing right now? ;)"_

Logan practically slammed his phone down.

"That's it! I tried! No more, Camille!"

"What happened? What did he say?"

"He's sexting me! He fucking asked me what I am wearing!"

Camille tried to hold a straight face, but before long she was letting out gails of laughter.

"Oh my god, Logie, this is...oh god...this is the first time someone has...sexted you isn't it?" She choked out through hysterics. Logan rolled his eyes, not finding the humor in it, and before he could say anything, his phone went off again.

_"I was just kidding by the way! Just messin' with ya! Unless you want to tell me what you are wearing. Not gunna stop ya! I'm always up for a good time!"_

Logan angrily texted back,

_"Let's keep this professional, Mr. Diamond, shall we? I'll meet you at Cornerstone's at 7PM. See you then."_

_"Awww, I went from James to Mr. Diamond? Damn, dude, you are no fun at all! I'll see you on Saturday! ...If you change your mind about the professional thing, text me! I'll teach the ways of having a good time!"_

_"Cya." _Was the only thing Logan texted back. He slumped down into the chair, feeling exhausted about Saturday already. This was going to be one long semester...

-line break-

As Logan parks his car in the Cornerstone's parking lot and takes a second to make sure his car is actually locked. He's always afraid he forgets to lock the car, and someone coming in and breaking in or stealing something. He worked hard for his Audi A4, 4 years being in the cardiology field and also practically being the youngest doctor at Palm Woods hospital is something to be proud of. Once he checks that off his mental checklist, he quickly smooths down his hair in preparation for seeing James. This night can go one of two ways; it could be a total success and James won't hit on him (even though, he secretly wants a little attention from James), or it could be a complete failure and he'll be fired from the hospital because he'll ultimately be responsible for James screwing everything up.

Logan walks in, and immediately sees James hanging by the bar, looking like James is charming the lady behind it. He can't place the reason why he's feeling a little let down. _Chill out Logan, you're here for business, remember that!_ He walks up to James and pats him on the shoulder.

"Hello Mr. Diamond, I believe our table is ready?"

"Oh hey doc! I'll be there in a sec, just catching up with this pretty lady right here." And James turns back to the lady.

"You know Mr. Diamond, if you want to stay here with her, I'll just leave-" Logan moves away to make his way to the front of the restaurant.

"Hold up doc, don't leave!" James interrupts and prevents Logan from leaving "I'm sorry, I feel like I screwed up my first impression. Please, just stay and have dinner with me and show me all I need to know for Monday?"

Logan takes a deep breath and answers, "Alright, fine, I'm here anyway, and you need to know the protocol and procedures otherwise you will fail the semester."

James visibly shows his relief and escorts Logan to a table. It's awkwardly silent to start, but both silently thank the waiter to take their orders. James orders a pasta dish while Logan orders a steak. Both only drink water, even though James would want a beer but is afraid he'd make a bad impression on Logan. He's sure Logan doesn't support drinking and driving, no matter how little one or two beers affects him. Both stare down at their clasped hands, and try to figure out something to say, or something to start.

"So… nice weather we're having, huh?" James tries.

"Alright, lets get down to business." Logan reaches into his pocket and pulls out some folded papers showing the protocol. "Here's the general protocol of working at Palm Woods Hospital. Make sure you read it and understand it. This other piece of paper here outlines your duties as my shadow for the cardiology department. Make sure you also read and understand it. You are to wear scrubs while on the floor, that's non negotia-"

"Wait a second, scrubs? Seriously? Scrubs are not form fitting, there's no possible way I can show off my physique or these guys" points to his biceps.

"Mr. Diamond-"

"Please doc, call me James. Mr. Diamond is my father."

"Ok James, since you are not a doctor yet, you must wear scrubs. And as I was saying that's non negotiable."

"Have you ever worn scrubs?" James questions

"Yes, when I was starting out in your shoes, but since I am a doctor, I have to be professional."

"But, you want me to be professional right? And you just basically said scrubs aren't professional."

"James, scrubs are non negotiable. End of discussion."

James pouts "Fine"

Logan goes over other various things James needs to know, and it seems like there's something about every single little thing James must complain about. Luckily, he gets a break from business talk when the food comes. They each take to themselves when eating, and Logan is surprised how well James's table manners are. As they complete the course, the waiter asks them if they'd like dessert. Logan opts to decline, but James forces the order of some sort of dessert (with intentions on prolonging the night, James does truly like Logan's company). When Logan acquiesces, James silently does a happy dance. It's cute how Logan will be sharing dessert with him.

"So doc, can I be real with you?"

"Uh, sure? What about?"

"I really want you to know that whatever you may think about me, whatever you may have read about me, most of it is not true."

"Most of it?"

"Well, I'm not going to lie, ladies love me, and so do men. I do indeed swing both ways. I do enjoy having fun, and go on some _adventures_, most of which I might not remember the next day. I like to take care of myself, and I do work out a lot. I keep up with my pretty exterior, and of course my mom owns Brooke Diamond Cosmetics, so I've always been pretty."

"Uh, good to know." Logan nods along; mentally counting down the minutes till he can go back home and tell Camille he told her so…

"Doc, do you like me? Did I totally screw things up between us?"

"Wait, what?"

James rings his hands, and looks down "I just, I really don't want to screw this up between us. I really want to learn from you, and I want to prove to you and everyone who's ever doubted me that I can do this. I may not be working in plastic surgery right now, but maybe this is a good thing. So please," He looks up at Logan "Believe that I can do this, and although I may screw up at times, just know I'm trying my best. Be patient with me."

"Is James Diamond actually insecure?" Logan notices. He's not trying to sound like he's putting James down, however he's seeing James take it the wrong way.

"Yeah ok, go tell the press, James Diamond is actually insecure about himself. You know what, I tried, I really did. I just- ugh forget it. I'm out of here-" James puts down the money to pay for the meal and gets up to go, looking dejected, and if Logan isn't mistaken, a little misty eyed.

"Wait, James!" Logan puts a hand on his bicep, stopping him from moving _damn, his biceps are all muscle_ "You misunderstood, I was just in awe that I got to see this side of you. I'm glad I did, it makes me respect you a little more. So please, lets finish this dessert, and we'll go from there, ok?"

James smiles a small smile, "yeah sure, thanks doc".

"You can call me Logan, by the way." Logan mentions.

"Eh, I like doc, so when I say what's up doc? I can sound like Bugs Bunny."

Logan actually laughs, "sure, whatever floats your boat."

They finish the dessert and James pays for the meal like as planned. He refuses Logan's offer to go dutch on the check, and says "Next time, you can pay, ok?"

"Ok, you got it!" James lightens up.

They make their way out of the restaurant; James flirtingly says goodbye to the girl behind the bar _was that Clarissa?_ And walks Logan to his car.

"Wow dude, nice car!" James mentions.

"Don't think I know you drive that BMW over there James, we both have it good."

"You can say that again." He pauses before getting in his car "Goodnight Logan, this was nice. I'm looking forward to Monday."

"Goodnight James." And with a final smile and nod, Logan gets in his car and drives off.

Through the Bluetooth in his car, he dials Camille's number, updating her on what happened tonight. While the number is dialing, he actually thinks about how interesting this semester will be…

And how interesting it will be to work with the guy who is the complete opposite of him. This could be chaotic.

_**Please review! And again, if anyone wants to create a cover image for this story, be my guest! I'd love to see what you all come up with. Till next time :) **_


	4. Chapter 4

_**AN: I would like to thank **__The Weasley Way, LoveSparkle, mrshendermaslow, and mandie1511__** for all your alerts, favs, and reviews… PLEASE keep them coming! Reviews fuel me for wanting to continue writing for this website!**_

_**Huge thank you to Christa (ilovecarlospena93), who truly helped me for this whole chapter. She truly is my rock, and I appreciate all she does for me!**_

_**Also, if any of you reading are creative and want to make a cover image for this story, please be my guest! Just PM me and we can go from there!**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not (nor will I ever, sad face) own Big Time Rush or anything you may recognize. **_

This must be the eightieth time Logan has straightened every single item on his desk in his office. His pencils are all perfectly sharp and lined horizontally in a line on his daily planner. His stapler is filled with staples, ready for use at any given time. His desk is spotless, not a dust bunny in sight. But yet, he still feels like everything is out of order. James put Logan on edge, a feeling Logan has never experienced. Logan had an eerie sense that James would be the one to pull out the side of him that no one ever saw. Every person in Logan's life has treated him as the "genius", the "prodigy", and the "one that can solve any problem". But would James expect something more? Something no one in the world has yet to see? The vulnerable, insecure, Logan Mitchell? The man you see when you take away the only asset everyone has ever saw? And this freaked Logan out to no end.

It's about ten to nine, and in about 10 minutes, James _hopefully_ will be walking through his office door, ready for work. He takes the time to brew another pot of coffee, which will be piping hot so James would be awake enough to work, because knowing James, last night was probably wild. His back is turned when all of a sudden; he hears his door open, and footsteps making their way into his office.

"Camille seriously!? He's going to be here an-y-y-y… minute and you're not Camille."

"Yeah last time I checked, which was this morning in the shower when I jacked off, I'm a guy and my name is James." James cheekily responded.

Logan blushes a violent shade of red, and is speechless but can't help picture the scenario in the shower, which only makes him blushes harder, if that is even possible.

"I know you're thinking about me in the shower, doc. Please share!" James says.

"Wait. What?! No. Nooo. NO! No, you have it all wrong!" Logan responds while throwing his hands up in a surrendering gesture.

"Mhhm, sure you aren't doc." James smirks.

An awkward silence, at least on Logan's part, ensues after their brief conversation. James takes comfort in the nice leather chair aside Logan's desk while Logan busies himself with making sure all the files are ready to go for his shift. Fighting for something to say, Logan was literally saved by the coffee pot, as the last bit of brew sputters into the pot.

"DO YOU WANT SOME COFFEE?" Logan yells a little too enthusiastically for the situation at hand. "It's French roast! You know like, from France…" Logan follows just as enthusiastically, but a little quieter.

"Uh, sure." James says a little uncomfortably. "You might cry if I don't, I mean it's all the way from France after all." James says in a jokingly sarcastic manner.

"I only serve the best," Logan says with an over exaggerated wink and smile.

"Uh Logan, are you ok?" James questions.

"Yeah sure, everything's just groovy, bleep blap bloop."

"Uh, the '70s called, they want their saying back." James says, clearly joking.

"Here, have some coffee" which Logan says, but interrupted when he totally misses the coffee cup and spills the whole pot of coffee on the floor, while still staring at James, not aware of what's going on with the coffee.

James surveys the flooding "What a nice pretty waterfall of French roast flowing off your desk Logan. I mean, I know I'm special, but I don't need a waterfall to greet me in the morning."

Logan takes in what James is saying, and jerks his head to his desk where he sees the "nice pretty waterfall of French roast" falling from his desk.

"OH SHIT!" Logan screams, and with that, the coffee pot Logan was holding plummets to the ground, effectively shattering into pieces.

Logan drops to his knees, puts his head in his hands, and lets out a sob.

"Why is everything going wrong today? What did I do to deserve this?" Logan questions in between sobs.

James rushes over to the sobbing man and pulls him into an embrace, truthfully not knowing what to do. He resigns to simply patting the shaking doctor's back while Logan gets out all the sobs he's been holding in. After about 10 minutes, Logan pushes away, and wipes his face of the tear stains.

"I'm so sorry you had to see this, especially on your first day. This never, and I mean never, happens to me. I'm always so prepared and so aware of everything, I've never had to deal with this." Logan says apologetically.

"It's ok, don't worry about it." James says, still a little uncomfortable. He's truthfully never seen someone so fragile before in his life.

Logan glances at the clock and notices it's 9:15, and they should've started everything 15 minutes ago.

"Well, now's a good of time as ever to start the rounds. Ready for the real world, James Diamond?"

"Like you said, now's a good of time as ever, doc." James responds.

Logan shows James the cardiac unit of Palm Woods hospital; he introduces James to all the patients, and informs him a little bit of their conditions. James smiles and nods along, not really understanding what Logan is saying. He knows about "cardiac arrest" and "heart disease" but some more complicated terms like "ventricular tachycardia" pretty much throw him off. _Yeah, I'm definitely sticking with plastic surgery_. At the end of the shift, Logan escorts James back to his office, and prepares for the evaluation.

"So for someone who doesn't want to be in cardiology, I must say, you have a way with the patients. They all seemed to brighten and smile as soon as they saw your face, or heard your voice."

"Well duh," James states, "I'm James Diamond, I have that effect on people. If this morning was of any indication, I would think I have that same effect on you." James abbreviates the last word by tapping Logan's nose. Logan scrunches his face in response.

"Did you really just tap my nose?" Logan questions.

"I did, and I give you permission to write it in your diary later. I'm sure you'll tell _Camille_ all about it." He says Camille like she's a disgusting, flesh-eating disease. Logan didn't know how to take that. _Did he detect some jealousy in James's tone?_

"Do you think so little of me to think I have a diary? What am I, a 10 year old girl? Last time I checked-"

"I don't know, drop your drawers, and let me make the definitive decision on that matter, it might take a while." James says in a cocky manner.

"Ew, no thank you. I prefer my drawers kept on my body." Logan responds.

"What are you scared of? Is it your size you're self-conscious about." James tests.

"Alright, I think you've crossed the line on that one. I am your boss, you are my shadow. We need to keep up the professional relationship that is expected of us."

"Aw, seriously!? You're no fun, way to be a killjoy, Doctor Logie."

"Don't call me Logie" Logan spits out, "Only friends and family can call me Logie, I don't know you like that."

"Yet" James remarks.

"We'll see, now we have some business to take care of in the ICU and SCU before we can take a lunch break. Follow me." And like that they're off to the ICU and the SCU.

Once again, Logan shows James the ways, and with a simple smile, it seems all the patients respond. James pretty much still has no idea of what is going on. He's mastered the smile and nod, just to placate Logan. But he observes how Logan lights up when he discusses and deals with the sick patients. It really shows James how passionate one could be for a certain area in life, and yet, he admires it. It makes James really want to show Logan that he too, can find and accomplish something in life. Even though cardiology isn't James's area of choice, he feels he can someway relate it to plastic surgery and seeing someone feel good about themselves after all procedures have been done. They take care of all that's needed to be done, and make their way to the hospital cafeteria where they will partake in some lunch before James must leave to get back to school for class. They enter the cafeteria, purchase their lunches, and Logan leads the way to his usual table.

"Knowing you, you probably sit here everyday, right?" James presumes.

"Well, yeah, unless of course I go out to lunch."

"With _Camille_ I'm sure" And there it is, the infamous James Diamond jealousy tone Logan met with earlier in the day.

"Sometimes with Camille, sometimes my mother, often times with Carlos." Logan says while ignoring the tone James used in the previous statement.

"Hey Logan! Room for two more?" Logan hears Carlos, who, might he add, has a voice that can travel for miles, from across the cafeteria.

Logan nods and calls them over. Logan and James made room, while Carlos got his lunch. He sees Carlos walk over with another guy, who James realizes is his best friend.

"Yo whaddup K-dog? Fancy meeting you here!"

"Hey buddy, right back at ya" Kendall points to James.

"So, I guess we're all friends at this table." Logan comments.

"Woah, wait… Is this James?" Carlos asks Logan.

"What, doc you haven't told him about me?" James questions.

"On the contrary, James, he knows all about you." Logan responds.

"Oh really, what do you know about me, Carlos?"

"Oh, um, I don't know if I should say, um, I don't think its hospital material." Carlos answers chewing on his bottom lip.

"No, wait, you can't do that, if you have heard something about me, you NEED to tell me what it is!" James demands of Carlos.

Carlos scans the room nervously, visibly flustered. Being sure that no one was looking their way, Carlos cups his hands to his mouth and whispers loudly in James's direction. "They say you're a man whore!"

"Carlos! What would your mother say!?" Logan reprimands Carlos. Logan then turns to James "I'm so sorry for him, he's got mental constipation and verbal diarrhea."

"Wait, easy with the big words, Webster. You're a doctor, not a journalist." James says while giving the time out gesture.

"What am I, chopped liver?" Kendall jokingly asks,

"Wow, you finally figured it out after all these years" James slaps Kendall's shoulder.

"Fuck you, Diamond." Kendall remarks.

"Already have." James smartly responds.

"Yeah, yep, that's actually true." Kendall says without any emphasis and goes to finish eating his lunch.

"Wait, whats going on?" Logan asks.

"Looooong story, that involves Jake Gylenhaal, Bob Marley, and Patrón." James says as if it's everyday conversation.

"Wait, what? You did it with your best friend, but you're telling me we should take it slow." Carlos says all hot and jealous.

"What? James is hot! Can you blame me?" Kendall adding the fuel to Carlos's fire.

"Whatever man, I have to go back to work." And with that, Carlos gets up and makes his way out of the cafeteria.

"Welp, that's my cue to leave, I guess. James, we better be going back to campus, class starts in an hour." Kendall observes.

"Alright, I'll meet you out front, give me 5 minutes."

Kendall exits the cafeteria, while James and Logan throw out their garbage. Logan, being the gentleman that he is, walks James to the front of the hospital, where James parked his car.

"Great job today, I know it was tough, but you actually did well. I'm hopelessly optimistic about this semester."

James, clearly touched says "Thank you, doc, it means a lot coming from you."

"So same time, tomorrow? And if you're early, please warn a guy next time James. I don't just waste my French roast on anybody."

"Will do, doc, have a good day!"

"You too, James."

They stand there awkwardly, both knowing they should part with some sort of gesture. Whether it be a handshake, hug, or a simple pat on the shoulder, they need to do something. James decides to be bold, walks right up to Logan, and plants a soft, sweet kiss on Logan's cheek.

"Thanks again, doc!" And with that, James exits the hospital, leaving Logan with a hand on his cheek, and more questions than answers.

_**Till next time…**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**AN: I would like to thank **__LoveSparkle __**for your always-amazing review! You always know how to make a girl feel good about her writing, so thank you! If only more people reviewed… I hate to sound like a broken record, and I know I'm new to the whole writing on fanfiction thing, but please, I would like more reviewers/followers so I can get an idea as to how you people like my writing.**_

_**Again, huge thank you to Christa (ilovecarlospena93) for her help with this chapter… Seriously, it's scary how much we're on the same page… pun not necessarily intended, but it can be intended ;) **_

_**Also, if anyone wants to create a cover image for this story, please be my guest! Just PM me, and we'll go from there.**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush, or anything you may recognize. Still waiting on those Christmas presents from them hahaha :)**_

It was James's idea to show Logan a night out on the town. James and Logan have been working with each other for about a month now, and James was ready to turn their professional relationship into something more. He's found himself thinking about the nerdy, little doctor on a regular basis, and wants to test out the waters to see if Logan is up to handle the James Diamond charm. So James chose one of his favorite bars, The Purple Glow, to introduce Logan to his scene. Little does Logan know though, it's one of James's favorite gay bars to go to, and he's a legend with the people who frequent it. So, earlier that day, when they were finishing up the shift, James was going to make sure something was going to go down tonight.

"But doc, c'mon you need to live a little! Plus, it's a Friday night, you don't have to work in the morning." James persuades Logan, after Logan tries to resist.

"But James, Friday night I balance my check books… and if they're not balanced, the following week can be chaotic. I don't want to go into debt, James."

"Calm down, Doctor Logie, you have all of Saturday to balance your check book, I can promise you that." James tries.

"But Saturday is laundry day! And my mom usually comes over so we can catch up. I won't have time for balancing my checkbook, laundry, and my mother. Plus, I don't need my mother knowing my expenses. I'm a grown boy now." Logan comes back with.

"Seriously? You know what, you need this night out. If I even have to kidnap you and drag you hand and foot into the bar, I will." James threatens.

Logan seems to mull over James's request. Its not everyday you see James begging for something, and seeing how important this is to James. _Alright, fine, I'll just have to do laundry on Sunday._

"Alright, I'll go-" Logan begins, but is cut off with a "YES!" from James while he pumps his fists in the air like he's won a gold medal.

"But under one condition" Logan says.

"Whatever you want, as long as you come." James relents.

"I'm bringing Camille along with me. I'm going to need someone when you decide to ignore me and go off with all your floozies."

Logan hears James pretend his cell phone is going off.

"Hello… yeah ok, I'll tell him… doc the '50s are calling, they want their floozies back."

"Must you always reference a time period whenever I say something out of the ordinary?"

"Doc, seriously, this is just proof you need to get out there. Stop watching the Turner Classic Movies channel, and start watching a little MTV."

"I'm still bringing Camille." Logan reminds James.

"What is she, your security blanket? Must you bring her up everywhere?" James gets annoyed.

"For your information, I gave up my security blanket a long time ago." Logan remarks.

"Really, doesn't seem like it. But whatever, I'll pick you and Camille up at 10 at your place? Text me your address, I have to go to class." And with that, James leaves Logan hanging, staring at James's retreating figure.

As the day flies by, Logan gets even more nervous, not quite sure what James has up his sleeves. He's texted James his address, but it was uncharacteristic for James not to reply with some cocky remark, in fact James didn't even reply at all. Camille agrees as soon as Logan's invite left his mouth, and now Camille is over Logan's penthouse, trying to figure out what he should wear.

"I told you, red really brings out your eyes. And I'm sure James won't resist you." Camille says matching up different ties to Logan's charcoal grey button up shirt.

"You know, I don't even care what I wear, it's just whenever I bring you up, James seems to make a 180 and shuts down." Logan observes.

"Does he know you're gay?" Camille questions.

"Well, it really never came up. I thought he suspected something when he kissed me on the cheek that day, but otherwise no."

"There's your problem. He probably thinks you and I are a couple."

"But I say you're my best friend."

"Logan, that doesn't mean anything. People always say their significant other is their best friend." Camille states.

"But you're only my best friend." Logan pouts.

"Well, duh, I know that! But other people might not. And James is not the brightest crayon in the box. I wouldn't be surprised he jumps to conclusions."

Logan mulls that over, as they both get ready to go out. At 10pm sharp, he gets a text from James, letting him know he's outside. They grab their belongings, and make their way out to the car. They each greet James, and James speeds off, not wanting to miss a beat at the bar. They make small talk on the way, James not really looking in Logan's direction. They reach the bar, James placing the care of his car into the hands of the valet, and without a second glance from the bouncers, they're inside, making their way to the bar. Logan and Camille start out with a beer, yet James is already on his third shot of tequila. After some time has passed where they haven't even moved an inch from the bar, Camille excuses herself to the ladies room, leaving James and Logan to mingle. Logan can't quite help but notice James has been very distant since they've arrived and hasn't shown any attention to him.

"James, why are you ignoring me? You were the one that wanted me to come out with you tonight, so why are you making me feel like I'm unwelcomed." Logan complains.

Logan see's James break through some of his walls, while answering Logan's concerns. "Its not that I don't want you here, it's just that…" And just like that, the walls come back up, Logan can see it. It probably has to do with Camille returning from the ladies room.

Camille notices the tension, and tries to turn it up a notch.

"Hey Logan, why don't we head on down to the dance floor. It's time someone showed you how people dance these days." And immediately drags Logan with her.

Meanwhile, James downs a few more shots, and he too heads on down to the dance floor. _If Logan can dance with Camille, then I can dance with anyone I want. Screw Logan and trying to keep him company. I'm so done. Just get another shot._ A nice looking man, who asks him to dance, accosts him and they two make their way to almost where Logan and Camille are dancing, or should he say Camille dancing, Logan moving side to side. He notices Logan looking at him from time to time, but he really can't care about that right now.

Meanwhile with Logan and Camille...

"Where's James?" Camille questions, "You should try dancing with him!"

"It's a little too late for that" Logan says dejectedly, "he's already making his rounds with other guys."

"Well then, let's give him a taste of his own medicine." And with that, Camille moves in front of Logan and proceeds to grind up against the front of him. James notices this, and he too decides to turn it up a notch, thinking he can get Logan to notice him. _But James, he's straight! He's not going to want to go for you!_ It doesn't matter though, the 8 tequila shots have clouded James's judgment and he truthfully doesn't care what's going on.

It's a rally of back and forth glances from James and Logan. Every time Camille notices Logan glance at James, she does something that makes James even more pissed. The final straw was when Camille decides to kiss Logan. Something in James breaks, and he hustles out of the dance floor, back to the bar, without a glance at the two. Logan, after trying to break away from Camille, notices James is no longer in his peripherals, and goes to find where he's gone. Logan searches everywhere, including the filthy bathrooms, but still cannot find James. Camille joins in on the search party, and finds James at the bar, drinking a beer.

"James, don't you think you've had enough to drink?" Camille questions.

"I think you mean, I haven't had enough to drink," James slurs.

"James, you're drinking too much, too quickly, and I know the effect it will have on you in the morning. So I suggest you quit while you're ahead. And I'll drive you home for the night." Logan proposes.

James is quiet, which Logan assumes that James is agreeing. He takes James's hand, and they make their way out of the bar. Logan hands the valet James's ticket, and they go and retrieve James's car. Logan helps James into the car, and they leave, concluding their night out. James is quiet, staring out the window. And after a little bit, Logan hears sniffling, and when he turns in the direction it's coming from, he sees tears coming down James's face.

"James, what's wrong?" Logan questions.

"Nothing, you wouldn't care." James remarks.

"That's not true, of course I care."

"That's bullshit, no one ever cares." James slurs and sniffles, and doesn't bother to wipe his tears.

"James" Logan pats his shoulder, but James turns away.

"Camille, how about I drive you home, and then I take James back to my apartment, I don't want him to be alone tonight." Logan says.

"Yeah that's fine, I agree with you. And I'm sorry James, if I made you feel bad tonight. " Camille apologizes.

James huffs at Camille and turns away; clearly Camille knows why James is upset. Logan is kept in the dark about all of this, but doesn't question it. They drop Camille off at her house, and head on back to Logan's apartment.

"Hey, this isn't the way to my apartment." James slurs.

"I told you I'm taking you back to my place for the night. I don't want you to be alone, especially in your current emotional state."

"You're so nice Logan, you're always so nice."

"You called me Logan…"

"Oh wow, I did. I like the name Logan, it fits you, because you're a smart doctor, and smart doctors should be named Logan."

Logan can't help but crack up at what James has been saying. Logan parks James' car in the lot, and with help of Logan, they both make their way into the apartment. He places James down on the couch, while Logan fetches some sweats, which probably won't fit, for James and some water so James can stay hydrated, because if it's one thing he knows about being a doctor, he knows alcohol dehydrates you. Once Logan grabs everything he needs, and everyone is changed, he sits with James on the couch, and tries to talk to him.

"James, can you tell me why you don't think people care about you?" Logan inquires. "You don't have to talk to me about this, I know you're still drunk."

"It's just, no one has ever cared about me like the way Camille cares about you. You two make a cute couple." James, who is no longer slurs, notices Logan's hand on his knee.

"James, I'm not like that. Camille and I aren't like that."

"Camille is so lucky to have you, you're such a nice guy. I don't think I've ever met someone like you. If I had you, I'd make sure not to let you go."

Without even thinking, Logan says, "You don't have to let me go." Logan hopes James didn't hear that, but by the way James is looking at Logan, Logan's almost positive he heard him.

"Why did you say that?" James questions.

"Say what?" Logan tests.

"That I don't have to let you go. Logan, you're with Camille, and I don't know if you're bisexual or not, but I'm not going to be the other person." James sighs and looks down, tears once again forming in his eyes.

"Why do you keep bringing up Camille and I as a couple? We're two separate people."

"Because you two are a couple, and you're going to get married and make beautiful genius babies together, and forget about me once the semester is over." James sadly says as tears run down his cheeks.

"James, I'm not going to forget about you. I made you French roast, that's got to mean something. I didn't make French roast every morning for all of my past shadows." Logan runs his hand up and down James's bicep, trying to comfort the sad partially drunk man.

"I guess that does mean something." James realizes

"James, I'm not as blunt as you are, so I apologize for being blunt here, but Camille and I are not a couple. I'm not attracted to her, hell; I'm not even attracted to the female sex. I'm gay." Logan confesses.

"Wait, did you just say you're gay?"

"Yes, I'm gay James."

"Why didn't you tell me earlier? We could've saved ourselves from the mess of an evening."

"It just never came up, and I don't volunteer information unless it's asked. If you would've asked me, I would've told you."

"So you're blaming me for creating this mess tonight?" James accuses.

"No, just calm down. Maybe you should get some sleep, it's been a long night."

"Yeah, sleep sounds good." And James lowers himself to a horizontal position on the couch.

"Make sure you sleep on your side," Logan states, "It could save your life."

"Anything for you, doctor Logie."

"Goodnight James, sleep tight."

"Goodnight" James mumbles.

Logan returns to his bedroom, and falls asleep pretty much as soon as his head hits the pillow. He feels as if he's only been asleep for a couple of minutes when he hears what sounds like whimpers and struggling from James in the living room. He leaves his bedroom to go investigate what's going on, and sees James toss and turn, and mumble something about dying. Logan decides to wake James up, and take him out of his suffering.

"James, wake up! It's just a dream, wake up!"

And with that, James shoots up from the couch, clearly not recognizing his surroundings, and sees Logan hovering over him.

"Wha? What's going on?" James questions.

"You were having, what I thought, was a bad dream."

"Oh, yeah, I don't remember." James dodges.

"Alright, well I'm here if you want to talk." Logan makes his way back to the bedroom.

"Wait!" James calls out to Logan.

"What?"

"Um, I don't want to be alone right now, c-can I sleep with you?"

"James, would you please tell me what's wrong? What did you dream about?"

"Just, can I sleep with you? I can even sleep on the floor, I just don't want to be alone." James says, sounding like a little kid.

Logan sighs, and nods, leading the way for James to follow him. James makes himself comfortable on the floor.

"James, just come and sleep on the bed. I'm not going to think you'll rape me or something." Logan says.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, before I change my mind."

"If you say so." James makes his way on the bed, to the opposite side of Logan.

James falls asleep almost immediately after he lands on Logan's bed. Logan tries to make himself go back to sleep, but his effort is futile when, in his sleep, James wraps his arm around Logan's waist, and pulls them into the spooning position. Logan, internally freaking out, doesn't know what to do, and knows James is just asleep. Logan doesn't move, afraid to wake James. After a few minutes, he can feel himself relaxing into James's embrace, and sleep take over his body.


	6. Chapter 6

_**AN: I would like to thank **__fanmin, LoveSparkle, ilovecarlospena93, anatjej, and caitlovelogan __**for all your reviews, favs, and alerts. I haven't gotten the chance to respond back if you reviewed, but I will definitely as soon as I can! Just know I appreciate it so much!**_

_**If you would like to create an image cover for this story, PLEASE be my guest. Just PM me, and we'll go from there! Obviously you'll get credited, because I'm not artistic unless we're talking writing and music.**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush, or anything you may recognize.**_

James awoke to the feeling of heavy breathing against his neck. Disoriented at best, he jerked his head back to see the figure of Logan Mitchell cuddled up against James' chest, his mouth open slightly, hair pointing in every direction possible, and his knee pressed firmly into James' groin area. _God, I hope he isn't a twitcher_. _That would be bad._ For anyone else, this would be awkward, waking up plastered against a man that you were technically not in a relationship with, but for James, and for the fact that it was Logan he was plastered against; it somehow was the best sight he had ever woken up to.

Had it all been a dream? That bar scene was a bit of a blur in James' head, but he had been pretty sober when they got back to Logan's penthouse. Had Logan really confessed to him that he was gay? Could James be so lucky? Or was this all a cruel joke his mind was playing on him?

Right now, he honestly couldn't think past the pounding in his head. Hangovers sucked in so many ways. Just as he was about to close his eyes, he saw Logan's flutter open, his brown eyes clouded with sleep, blinking quickly trying to process if he was really cuddling with James Diamond? _Oh my god! Is my knee where I think it is?_ Logan remembered falling asleep last night spooning with James, but somehow he had managed to flip over in his sleep so that he was now face to face with the sexy beast.

"Good morning." James greeted, his voice thick with sleep and hangover.

"Good morning." Logan greeted with a blush, voice quiet. He couldn't help but feel shy, this is the first time he's ever woken up next to a guy, let alone have a guy sleep in his bed, or even sleep over. The only times he's ever had someone sleep over was his mom, Camille, or Carlos on extremely rare occasions.

"So…uh…um… h-how'd you sleep?" James asks, uncharacteristically shy, and scratches the back of his neck.

"Uh, just fine, you?"

"Just fine."

There's an awkward silence that fills the room, each trying to figure out what the next move should be. Or even, what they should talk about next. Both know that there's a looming cloud of tension storming from whatever had happened last night, but where do they start? But, hold that thought.

"Oh shit!" James clasps a hand over his mouth, jumps out of bed, and flings the door to the in-suite bathroom in Logan's master bedroom. Logan can hear the violent retching that can only be justified by James's body reacting to the after effects of an over excessive amount of alcohol consumed. Logan gives James a minute before walking into the bathroom and bending down to rub James's back.

"It's ok, just take a deep breath. Let it all out, you'll feel better later. It's ok" Logan quietly says sweetly to James while James is hugging the porcelain throne. Once James believes he's done, he picks his head up, and gives Logan this look, definitely one that Logan has never seen before from James, let alone anyone. He can't even describe it, but he can't deny that he likes it, yet it makes him feel uncomfortable at the same time. He maneuvers James away from the toilet and on to Logan's lap. There, he lets James rest his head on his shoulder, while he rubs his back. James breaths even out, and once again, James is asleep, but this time on Logan's lap. Logan doesn't even care that his legs are falling asleep, or that they're in the middle of the bathroom that kind of smells like James's sick. He's uncomfortable with this, but yet, comfortable at the same time. Until the blasted doorbell rings.

"Who the fuck can that be?" Logan announces. He knows he has to answer the door, but he doesn't want to disturb James. He settles for quietly saying James's name so he can move him to the bed. Once that is done, Logan runs to the door, and opens it up.

"Hey sweetie, why aren't you dressed yet? Are you feeling ok?" Logan's mother, Joanna asks with concern. Usually, Logan and his mother go out to lunch with each other on Saturdays and most of the time, they have dinner together too; usually Joanna cooks enough so he can have left overs a few times within the week. _Seems like James can make him forget about practically everything._

"Oh, psh, yeah I'm fine. Just didn't realize the time. Wait in here, feel free to watch some tv while I quickly shower." Logan rushes his mom, almost forgetting about a certain someone in his room. He runs back to his room, and sees James sitting on his bed, looking down, and looking a little sad.

"Hey, I'm sorry if I woke you, are you ok? You need anything?" Logan asks as he quickly makes his way around the room, grabbing some clothes before he hits the shower.

Quietly, James responds, "No, I'm ok." But with that tone, Logan knows everything isn't ok. This is so not like James, it almost as if he feels like he's living in an alternate universe.

Logan takes a seat next to James on the bed, and rubs his back. "How about we shower, get dressed, and go out to lunch. My mom is here, and I'm sure she would love to have you join us for lunch. I know I'd like you there." He looks up to James, hoping for a yes.

James clearly lights up at this prospect, and it makes Logan feel like he's won the lottery. If he can make James's eyes sparkle like that every minute of every day, he knows he'd be a winner. "As long as you want me to. I don't want to be a bother."

"No, in fact, my mom will probably be all over you. It's been a while since she's met someone new that I've introduced to her. She loves when she sees me interacting with more people my age. She feared that when I sped through my secondary education and med school, I'd not make any new friends my age, or that I'd isolate myself more than what I did before. "

"Well then, I'd love to come" And the smile that James gives Logan is one that Logan can't describe.

They each quickly shower, separately, and get dressed (James wearing what he wore last night). Logan makes his way out first to warn his mother about James, and giving a short description of what happened last night. After his mother understood, and squealed a little bit, he gets James from his bedroom, and they make their way to the living room so James can meet his mom. His mother automatically loves James, and Logan sees a politeness that he didn't know James had.

Logan, since last night, has been questioning his feelings towards James, and has been taking stock of how he's been feeling since they started working with each other. He knows he hasn't felt this way towards anyone before. At first, he thought James would just slow him down, hold him back, and counted down the days till the semester was over so that the only times he'd hear about James, would be on TMZ or those stupid paparazzi magazines. But after a week of working, Logan started to look forward to the time he had with James every day. He started to feel empty when James left to go to class, and he would be all by himself till he ended for the day. Many people would probably find James's jokes stupid and child-like, but Logan somehow managed to actually find them funny, and loves when James can make light of a heavy situation.

Logan drives his mother and James to an ihop (which James picked, he may look like a god and take care of his body like it's his temple, but he can always go for some amazing pancakes that none other can be provided by ihop). They park and make their way inside. They get seated quickly and found what they wanted to order. Joanna wanting a short stack with a side of eggs and bacon, Logan wanting the harvest grain and nut short stack also with eggs and bacon, and James wanting the chocolate chip pancakes with the happy face on top, but Logan stopping him and making him order the short stack with some eggs and bacon because he's afraid James wont be able to hold it down. James cutely pouts, and all Logan wants to do is plant a sweet kiss on those lips. _Wait a second, where did that thought come from?_ He laughs at his inner monologue, which thankfully, no one else seemed to notice. After they order, Logan excuses himself to the bathroom, leaving Joanna and James to talk amongst themselves.

"So James, I've heard a lot about you. I didn't want to admit this in front of Logan, but you're all he talks about. I feel like I've known you for a long time." Joanna comments to James.

"Oh really? All good things I hope." James cheekily responds.

"Oh yeah, and he always finds a way to relate everything back to you, oh James like this, oh James said something about that the other day. I don't mean to embarrass him, but I think you're good for him, and that it was fate that you were placed to be his shadow."

James is speechless. He couldn't even imagine Logan actually doing this. At first, James thought Logan was going to be this hardass doctor who would make James's life hell. But after a couple of days of working for him, he found himself wanting to wake up early and come in to hang with Logan before they start working, drinking their French roast (which has become James's favorite coffee, he can't drink anything else now, almost like he's immune to other coffee's). He gets sad when he has to leave for the day to go back to class, only to again count down the time till they see each other again. One of the reasons why James asked Logan out last night was because he got fed up with having to wait a whole weekend till they see each other again. He has a soft spot for the nerdy doctor, that has surprised him, and if he's being honest, scared him shitless. And Logan taking care of him last night and this morning, James couldn't even put into words how that made him feel. All his life, James has yearned for the want, love, respect, and care from people close to him, like his mom and dad, and even his superficial friends from high school. The only person he's ever felt that from was his grandmother, but he doesn't want to think about her right now, otherwise he'll start crying here at the table, and he doesn't want to ruin his pancakes. But, from Logan, he actually feels the care, respect, and dare he say, love and want. To be honest with himself, James knows he's fallen and is still falling in love with Logan. He just hopes, now with Logan's confession about being gay last night, that maybe Logan can too fall in love with him, and see the James Diamond he wants to be. He thanks his change (or his change in progress) to Logan, because he's finally found a passion to want to succeed and do well so he can keep Logan in his company, and the results have been nothing but positive thus far.

"Earth to James, come in James." Logan pokes James with his fork.

"Oh… uh… sorry, just spaced for a minute there." James stutters.

"Don't want your pancakes to be cold now."

"Wouldn't want that," James says with a mouth full of pancake.

Joanna observes the communication between the boys, and to be completely honest, at first, she didn't know how James and Logan would work out together. She's seen and read all about James, and knew all about the James that the world thought of him. But, now actually knowing the real James, she truthfully believes they're good for each other. Because of how opposite they are, James would not only bring Logan out of his shell, but also Logan has grounded James and helped James realize the finer things in life. She couldn't be more proud of the two, and smile when she sees them acting cute with each other.

They finish up lunch and make their way to the mall, where Logan sees in action the frenzy James goes into when he's shopping at his favorite stores. James wants to give Logan a makeover, and buy Logan new clothes, but Logan quiets James with a not today, but a promise for the future. And James couldn't be any happier. They finish up and make their way home so that Joanna can prepare dinner for the boys, James accepting the invitation from both Logan and Joanna to stay for dinner. As Joanna prepares the paella, James and Logan battle each other on the xbox, Logan noticing how easy it is to spend time with James. When dinner is served, they make small talk, and compliment Joanna on the amazing paella (a recipe she learned when she traveled through Spain when she was in college). After dinner, they played monopoly, and when James was able to have a monopoly by scoring Boardwalk and Park Place, he did this happy dance, that made Logan's heart melt, and this giddy feeling he seems to get a lot whenever he's around James. He knows he's falling for James.

At the end of the night, Logan says goodbye to his mother, with the promise of a phone call tomorrow. He's reluctant in saying goodbye to James, not wanting this day to end. It's been probably the perfect day he's ever experienced, and can't remember ever feeling this happy.

"So, I guess, I'll see you Monday." James says shyly as his hand wraps around the doorknob of Logan's front door.

"Yep, same time, same place. French roast will be on brew." Logan winks.

"Thank you again for everything. I don't know how I would've handled myself if I was alone." James says, showing how thankful he really is.

"Your welcome, as stupid as this is going to sound, it's my pleasure. It's great to see this side of you James."

Either two don't want to say goodbye, but it's inevitable. Before James turns to leave, Logan quickly kisses his cheek.

"It's my turn to leave you with a kiss." And closes the door, him having the last word.

As James makes his way to his car, he's left with a hand on his cheek, and in greater hopes.


	7. Chapter 7

_**AN: I would like to thank all that have reviewed, favorited, and followed throughout these past couple of weeks. There's so many, I have lost track of whom I have counted for and whom I haven't. So thanks so much, I appreciate it! I haven't gotten a chance to reply back to the reviews, but just know that I appreciate your feedback, and a million thank you's for your review(s).**_

_**So sorry I've been MIA for almost 3 weeks. I had a little issue for a bit, and then I was in Israel for 10 days, and then my grandmother passed away, so I didn't have time to update and write. But, now I'm back. Updates will become slower because I have returned to school, unfortunately school work comes before writing, but I will do my best to update on a regulated schedule that I'll figure out when the time comes. It may be once a week, like on the weekends just because I love to relax on the weekends. **_

_**Again, thank you to my amazing friend Christa (ilovecarlospena93) in helping me with this chapter. She's always there when I'm stuck in a rut (or in this case, writers block)**_

_**I think I've covered everything.**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own BTR, or anything you may recognize. But totally wish I did. **_

The awkwardness in the room was so thick it was tangible. The fact that James arrived on time, and not early, was the testimony for how the day was going to start. Logan was all ready with the French roast brewing in the pot, but when the time ticked by, and it was only a few minutes before the shift started, he felt dejected. James entered Logan's office without a noise, which was so not the Diamond style- when James entered a room; you know he entered the room. But instead, James's mannerisms mimicked someone with far less confidence than what he usually possesses. That threw Logan off.

"What's wrong?" Logan questioned.

"Nothing." James said shortly.

Logan can see the emotional walls James built up. He hasn't hit a wall since the night at the bar with Camille. And since Camille isn't even here, and James knows that Logan is indeed gay, he really has no clue why he's hitting the proverbial James Diamond wall. Instead of questioning James's rational at this moment, he figures they'll have time at some point during the day to talk. They had to get started and the sooner they start, the sooner Logan has to talk to James. James, however, went about the routine as normal as ever, no one would know anything is wrong. James is a fantastic actor, after all. Before they knew it, it was lunch time, the perfect segway into what Logan wants to discuss.

"So what's gotten into you today? You didn't even get to have the French roast this morning?" Logan questions, yet chuckles at the last part.

"What are you, a James Diamond know it all?" James responds with crass.

"No! But I've been around you long enough to know when something's not right."

"Well, I don't need someone like you breathing down my neck. So just give me my space, please and thank you."

"You can't dismiss me like I'm some paparazzi looking for the next big story. I'm your mentor, but most of all, I'm your friend. I said I'd be here for you; so don't force me to break my promise, James! It's not worth it to push me away. I'm here to help, not hurt you."

""I don't need your help, Logan! If you haven't noticed, I am doing completely fine on my own! I don't need you, I don't need my mom, no one, do you get that!? End of story! Now just drop it." The finality of James's tone was enough for Logan to cease the topic.

The rest of the day pretty much went the same, James putting on a show for everyone else, yet would barely say two words to Logan if they were alone. James didn't even say goodbye when he left to go to class. This made Logan sad; he doesn't know what he did. Logan had taken a step forward to further his relationship with James. James, however, seemed to have taken a thousand steps backwards. And this was just over night. Since James seems to have gone emotionally MIA, Logan thought to go to the next best thing, James's best friend Kendall, who he's hoping hasn't left for the day. He runs into Carlos at the nurse's station.

"Carlos! Have you seen Kendall?" Logan questions.

"Oh, you just missed him! He's probably at the lobby by now. If you hurry, you just mig-"

"Thanks Carlos!" And Logan runs away, making a mad dash for the lobby.

It's a question between the stairs or the elevator. But knowing that you could wait for the elevator longer than actually being inside the elevator, he takes the stairs. He runs down the stair, practically flying down the two flights. He see's Kendall with his coat over his shoulder, and nose in his iPhone, looking like he's leaving to go to class.

"Kendall! Kendall! Wait up!"

"Oh hey Logan, whats up?" Kendall says simply.

"I was wondering what's wrong with James? Is everything ok?"

What's wrong with James? What do you mean is wrong with James? James is James, *nervous laugh* why on earth would you think James isn't James? James is awesome. He is a great friend. A really good listener, believe it or not, I mean I know he can be a pompous jerkoff, but-"

Logan cuts him off. "Kendall, this is serious! I NEED to know what is wrong with James, and you are an even more horrible liar than I am, and I can totally see you know something is up with him! Now spill!"

Kendall sighs, dropping his tense shoulders. "Dude...I can't. I wish I could, but he promised me not to say anything, and no matter what, I cannot break the bro code. That is strictly off limits. I wish I could stay and hint at what the problem is, but I really have to head back to class."

Logan grabbed Kendall's arm before he completely walked out the door. "One hint. That's all I need. One hint about what is wrong with him." Kendall chewed on his lip, clearly having a battle within himself.

He finally spoke. "...You."

And with that, he was out the door, leaving Logan standing there, stunned.


	8. Chapter 8

_**AN: Again, I'd like to thank all who have taken the time to review/favorite/follow this story so far. I appreciate it all more than you'll ever know. I haven't had the time to respond to all your reviews (please forgive me!), but just know I do read them and take all your reactions/comments/suggestions into consideration. I hope I don't disappoint from here forward!**_

_**Again, as always, thank you to my amazing friend Christa (ilovecarlospena93) for her help on this chapter. We usually are on a similar (if not the same) wavelength on ideas for this story, and we bounce ideas back and forth. She's amazing, and I don't know what I'd do without her!**_

_**I do not own Big Time Rush, or anything else you may recognize. **_

Logan doesn't care that it's almost 3 o'clock in the morning. What's been going on has been eating him up inside he can barely function anymore. The status on James's attitude towards him hasn't changed; it hasn't gotten any better, yet it hasn't gotten any worse either. It doesn't help that he hears Kendall's admittance as to why James is the way he is, like a broken record running through his mind. Peaceful sleep would elude him until this matter was resolved. And that's why he's in his car, driving to James's apartment at almost 3 o'clock in the morning.

He pulls into the parking garage of what he hopes is James's apartment building. James had given Logan his address, insisting he have it. "Just in case you ever need to come over here for anything. Some company, a good bottle of whiskey, a game of pool, or a blow job, ya know, just in case." He had said. Logan had scoffed at him then, but was grateful he had now. He might just take him up on the offer of the whiskey. He rides the elevator to the top level, which just so happens to be the penthouse level. _Of course James has a penthouse, he's a Diamond after all, nothing less than luxury_. He walks down the small hallway and reaches the door. Taking deep breaths, he hesitantly knocks on the door. He hears commotion on the other side of the door, someone sounding like they're stumbling. The door then opens, revealing a disheveled James; wearing sweats, a white V-neck t-shirt, hair going in different places, red puffy eyes, and most noticeable is the stench of alcohol radiating off of the man's breath.

"Logan? What are you doing here?" James curiously questions.

"I came to talk to you, I figured I could take you up on that whiskey you offered so kindly. But, it seems as if you started without me?" Logan notices

"Well, I don't have anything to talk to you about. Now, will you please leave?"

"James, stop pushing me away! I'm done pretending like nothing is wrong, it's been eating me up inside. Now, will you please let me in, so we can talk?"

James ponders it for a minute, but ultimately letting in the shy doctor. Logan takes a minute to look around, seeing how the infamous James Diamond lives. His penthouse doesn't look all that different from Logan's, which is surprising. It looks like a bachelor pad, that's for sure. One thing Logan does notice is an acoustic guitar resting on one of the couches in the living room. He also notices the bottle of Jack on the coffee table, and sees James reach to take another glass, and pours one for Logan too.

Logan looks James in the eyes. "James, please, tell me what's going on with you?"

"You don't know what you're talking about. Why do you think it's me that has the problem?" James rubs his hands over his face. He looks exhausted, and like he's still a little drunk.

"You've been distant towards me at work, you don't come in early anymore, you leave as soon as your shift is over, need I say more? I want to know what I did? Why is Kendall sayin-"

"What did Kendall tell you?" James manically looks towards Logan.

"He said the reason why you're acting the way you are is because of me."

"That son of a bitch, he never knows when to keep his mouth shut." James mutters, clearly angry by Kendall's betrayal.

"What did I do?" Logan asks, sounding small.

"You want to know what you did? Fine, I'll tell you what you did." James pauses, looking like he's trying to get his thoughts in order. He starts to pace the area in front of Logan, getting more agitated by the minute. And now Logan is scared, and getting agitated as well."

"Fine I'll start…" Logan takes the reigns "You know what you're biggest problem is? You're an arrogant, self-centered, heartl-"

"YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP! YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT ME!" James screams, actively cutting off whatever Logan was going to say.

"You see, I don't know, that's the problem. And I want to so bad." Logan says sorrowfully.

James grabs the whiskey bottle by the neck, and tipped it back letting the amber liquid flow down his throat. He taps his fingernail against the glass of the bottle, actively thinking what he's going to do next. He nods to himself, looking like he just gave himself an inner pep talk. Because no one has made a sound, Logan excuses himself to the bathroom, ready to relieve that inner pressure from his bladder that has been bothering him since James exploded. While in the bathroom, Logan thinks about how James reacted, and hoping maybe he's getting somewhere. He quickly finishes, and walks out of the bathroom.

James turns around when he hears Logan leave the bathroom. His back was facing the bathroom door, and guzzling down more of the bottle of Jack. He quickly places the bottle back onto the coffee table, and makes a beeline towards an unsuspecting Logan. James then grabs Logan by his shirt collar, pushes him into the closed bathroom door, and slams his lips against Logan's in a sloppy manner. Logan, surprised by the turn of events, quickly recovers, and kisses back with everything he has. James suddenly slams his palm against the door, growling as he breaks the borderline violent kiss. He catches his breath, and turns away from flushed and flustered Logan.

With eyes closed, and fingers pinching the bridge of his nose, James commands, "Just get the fuck out, Logan. I'm not worth it."

"What are you talking about? Of course you're worth it." Logan softly responds.

"I'm not worth it, nor will I ever be worth it. I was never loved, my mother too busy to love me because she had to maintain her business. My father never loved me; he was too busy fucking bitches half his age to even remember his own son's sixteenth birthday. I never had true friends growing up, so until I met Kendall, I was always alone. Here, now you know about me, so you can GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY APARTMENT."

Logan, at first speechless, come to his senses, and reasons, "That's not true, there are people out there who do love you. So if you can stop your little pity party here, maybe you'd actually see what's in front of your face, that is if you can separate yourself from the bottle of Jack that you seem to be attached at the hip with. I'll see you at work." And with that, Logan leaves the apartment in a huff, clearly wanting the last word.

James takes a seat on the couch, puts his head in his hands, and takes in the meaning of what Logan just said.


	9. Chapter 9

_**AN: Again, thank you for all your reviews/alerts/favorites for this story. I apologize for not responding to your reviews, but just know I appreciate it! I will eventually respond back!**_

_**As always, a lovely thank you to my amazing friend Christa (ilovecarlospena93) for her help and support. I can't write without her nowadays :) She basically wrote this entire chapter! So this chapter is dedicated to her!**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own BTR, or anything you may recognize… sorry, I know it sucks, but there's nothing I can do about it…**_

After their confrontation the previous night, everyone around Logan and James, staff and patients included, knew something was seriously wrong. James was not his usual confident self, but he was cold and withdrawn, not exuding his normal charm. Logan was sad. Nothing else could describe it. Sad and hurt. All he wanted was to relive the moment that James shoved him against the door, kissing him, and to just erase all the other extenuating circumstances. He wished that James wasn't drunk, that he wasn't so angry at Logan. He wished that they could have just started fresh, and ended up falling in bed, making love till the sun rose. But Logan wasn't a dreamer. He was brought up to see the facts, to look straight ahead, to zero in on his goals, to disregard any thought of "what if?". James was brought up in a loveless family, one parent being so set on their career they forgot about their only son, the other being to caught up in satisfying their sexual needs. Logan wondered how James was as confident as he was. Sure, he had a lot of insecurities, but James must have had someone in his life that nurtured him. But who?

"I was thinking of having you observe an open heart surgery today, James." Logan said, breaking the silence as they sat looking through patient files together. James got a strange look on his face, before he nodded. He said nothing more.

"I have one scheduled with Mrs. Donohue in two hours, do you want to observe that one?"

He only nodded again. Logan knew something had to change, or this semester was going to start out miserable, and end up ten times worse. If it were anyone else, he wouldn't have cared, but Logan would be lying to himself if he said he didn't deeply care about James. Was he in love? He wasn't sure if he was quite to that point.

"You're going to have to talk to me sometime, James." The young doctor pointed out, gazing at James in his peripheral vision. He saw James tense, then wordlessly get up and walk away.

"Fuck you." Logan said almost silently, dropping his head into his palms, fresh out of ideas on how to handle this. Who was he kidding? He _never_ once knew how to handle this. James was nothing short of an anomaly, and no matter how high the papers say Logan's IQ is, he didn't have the mental capacity to try to figure him out.

They stood in front of the deep wash sinks, Logan instructing James on how to most effectively "scrub up". James wordlessly followed along, but seemed to have something else on his mind. It wasn't just his anger towards Logan this time; it was like he was deep in troubled thoughts. Like if his life was a comic strip, he would be depicted with a stormy rain cloud hovering over his head. "So, are you going to pay attention, or are you just going to space out the entire process, because this goes towards your grade, James. I'm not above giving you a failing grade." James flinched at the words, Logan then feeling awful about snapping at him like that. "I'm sorry." James answered, his voice soft and small, as he continued scrubbing soap on his arms. That was the first thing James had said to him since that night, and if Logan felt bad before, he felt like shit now. "It's ok, James, I'm sorry I was so curt with you. I honestly didn't mean it." James nodded, washing the suds off his bare arms.

Logan's heart was heavy with guilt, but he said nothing, because what could be said? He shut the water off, and holding up their arms they entered the OR where Mrs. Donohue laid, intubated, tubes, IV's, and every type of machine ever needed attached to the ailing woman. Logan began ordering the nurses to do certain things, his scrubs-clad minions scrambling to do what the doctor said. James stood nervously to the one side of the room, watching the process unfold, trying to fight the thoughts of his grandmother assaulting his mind. Logan called him to his side, picking up the scalpel and pressing it to the woman's chest, pressing it down, making the first incision. The things that happened afterwards slightly horrified James, watching as they literally cracked her chest cavity open to get to her heart. He watched the fist size muscle beat rhythmically, doing its job of pumping blood, and to his untrained eye, it looked flawless. Logan shook his head, "It's worse than I thought. This isn't going to be easy." James stood there, frozen, for the next hour, until something happened. Something that made all the emotions he had bottled up inside, spiral out of control. The woman's heart stopped beating. The room erupted in a flurry of motion, the staff doing what they could do to keep her alive. James backed up until he was firmly pressed up against the wall.

He couldn't take it any longer; he couldn't take the shouts, the yelling, and the flat line beep of the heart monitor that screamed that this woman was dead. He slid along the wall until he got to the door, swinging it open, and he ran. He didn't know where he was going, but he ran. Logan whipped around when he heard the door open, just in time to see James' retreating figure. He knew that this woman was gone, but he couldn't just leave her there to see what was wrong with James, even though every fiber of his being screamed for him to run after him. He forced the thought away, turning back to the body that lay lifeless on the table.

Logan makes a mad dash to his office, thinking that's where James ran off to. He opens, the door, and immediately sees James huddled in the corner, the same corner that just so happens to house the coffee maker.

"Is this your way of telling me you want some French roast?" Logan joked, chuckling at himself until he took a closer look at James. He sat deep in the corner, his knees drawn to his chest, rocking back and forth slightly. Logan really knew something was wrong. "James, what's going on?"

Logan could see the tear tracks marking James's gorgeous face, obviously troubled by the sight in the operating room. All the while James kept babbling, with what Logan could hear as James saying "grandma" and other things that were incoherent to Logan's ears. Logan was scared, he never saw James like this, and to be honest, he's never seen anyone like this before in his life.

"James, buddy, I'm here. You're at Palm Woods Hospital, you're in my office." And Logan lunges to wrap James in a hug. At first, James didn't respond, but after a second, Logan felt James's arms wrapping tightly around his torso, James trembling with emotion. He let James cry out whatever he needed for as long as he needed, and only rubbed his back and kissed the top of his head, providing whatever comfort he could give. After a little bit, he noticed James's sobs turn to whimpers, then turn to sniffles, and eventually gave James space to collect his thoughts.

"Are you ok?" Logan genuinely curious about James.

"Yeah, sorry for freaking out, I don't know how that happened." James replied sheepishly, wiping the remaining tears from his face.

"Are you sure? I'm here to talk."

"Yeah, I'm sure." James smiling a little "Thank you Logan, I needed that."

"Your welcome" Logan rubs James's shoulder. "How come you were saying Grandma? Did something happen to your Grandma?"

James takes a deep breath, "My Grandma died similarly to how that woman died on the operating table earlier. Her heart was so bad; they needed to perform open-heart surgery on her to replace a valve. Everyone knew the risks of the surgery, and everyone was worried and anxious about it, but the doctors assured everyone that she's strong enough for it, and she'll come out of it beautifully. But apparently something went wrong, and her heart stopped, and she died on the operating table. That image of the woman just put an image to what I remember hearing from my mom, and I just couldn't take it. My grandma was more of a mom to me than my mom was. She was always there to greet me when I came home from school, always cared about what I did that day, and was truly upset whenever I had bad days at school. She would cook the best meals, and would always slip me an extra cookie after dinner. She used to read me stories if I couldn't sleep at night, and sometimes she'd tell me old stories of hers from back when she was younger. She was always there, and then for her to be suddenly gone, I've never felt more alone in my life, then I did at that time. Those are some deep things to feel at the age of 15. And since then, I've felt no one has loved me, or just truthfully cared about me since then. I mean, I know Kendall cares to a degree, he is my friend and all, but I have never felt truly loved and cared for since then. I always put on this façade, that I don't care what people think, and that I can take care of my own, but the truth is, I'm just looking for someone to actually care about me. To love me."

Logan takes all of this in; he can't believe that James just literally poured his heart out to him like that. Now Logan can finally understand why James is the way he is, and why James acted the way he has for this amount of time.

"So the reason why you were so standoffish to me is because…"

"I was afraid that if you ever got to know the real me, you'd run away, and leave me, like the only person who has ever truly cared. Now I know my grandma didn't run away, but she had to leave me. And if you left me by choice, that would've hurt much worse. So I had to fend for myself, and make it known that I don't need anyone, and that way if you were to have left me, I would have been prepared." James explained.

"I'll stay as long as you want me to. I don't plan on leaving." Logan declared.

James, truly touched, only responded by bringing his lips to Logan's.

"I know you don't trust me that I won't leave, and I know I will keep reassuring you I'm not going to, but I will do anything for you, if that will keep us together." Logan conveyed.

"Just promise me that you will do everything you just said, and I will love you forever."

"That I can do." And this time, it was Logan who brought their lips together. And boy, did the two of them miss the feel of their lips against each other. Except this time, it was in a much loving manner than James's previous borderline violent forced lip lock.

"James, just remember, your grandma isn't the only one who has ever cared about you, and loved you."

And James is beginning to believe in that.


	10. Chapter 10

_**AN: Once again, I'd like to thank all who took the time to review/follow/favorite this story! I owe you all responses for your reviews, but due to being really busy with school, I don't know when I'll have the time to do so, so most likely I'll just be giving you a grand "thank you" in my authors notes from now on. Just know, I do appreciate what you all have to say. Please continue to review/follow/favorite this story anyways :).**_

_**I'm sorry it took so long to update, between school and other private issues, I just haven't had the motivation/time to update. But, hopefully I have my writing mojo back now, but no promises. **_

_**There may be only a few chapters left of this story, at least of what I have planned out. But that may change? Who knows… I do have an idea for another story coming soon.**_

_**Once again, as always, a huge thank you to my amazing best friend Christa (ilovecarlospena93) for all her help in this story, and this chapter. **_

_**I do not own BTR, or anything you may recognize.**_

James decides to treat Logan out on a date for their one-month anniversary. This is a big deal for James, being that his longest relationship never lasted for more than one night. He had to make sure everything was perfect, he's never done this before. One last mirror check before he left, he deemed himself perfect, and went on his way to pick up Logan.

"Agh, damnit! Well this fucking sucks" James mutters as he slams his cell phone back down in the cup holder. He just realized his cell phone is dead, and is unable to let Logan know he will be late because of traffic. James and Logan don't live far from each other, and there's usually no traffic, but for some reason today, there is. Now he just hopes and prays that Logan doesn't think he stood him up, or forgot about him. James knows how much this night means to him, he doesn't want to let Logan down. But finally after an hour drive (which normally takes maybe 10 minutes) James finally arrives at Logan's apartment. After James's explanation to Logan, they two are on their way to _Le Jardin Paradis_, a fancy French restaurant James knows Logan will enjoy.

James drops his name at the hostess stand, and there seems to be a little problem.

"Sir, there are no reservations here by the name of Diamond." The hostess mentions to James.

"Uh, there should be, I called a week ago for a Diamond party of two."

"Sir, the only name I see here is a Donald party of two, but they are an hour late."

"Well, hmmm, let's think about it, Donald sounds like the product of someone's fucked up hearing on the phone, and we are an hour late because it's LA, the traffic is shit in LA! Now please, you seem like a very nice person, is there any possible way we could get a table? I could make it worth your while?" James pleaded with the hostess, reaching into his wallet to thumb through the bills.

There is a few seconds hesitation between James handing the hostess what looks to be a twenty-dollar bill and the hostess literally jumping on top of James.

"Well, you know we can always take that table, James Diamond, and make it a private party." The hostess says seductively. James has no clue how this even happened.

Logan, clearly not liking this, barges in and says "Get the fuck off my boyfriend, and sit us at that table of two please. There are people here who are starving. And what makes you think he'd go for your sorry piece of ass? It's our one month anniversary, and well it may not mean anything to you, it surely means a lot to the two of us, so excuse us." And he grabs James's wrist and drags the two of them to the table, clearly not needing the hostess to seat them.

James blinks, clearly not knowing the strength that Logan could posses. He doesn't know whether to be proud, or to be turned on. Even though it's more of the latter, James calms himself down, knowing later he'll make up for it. His plans don't end after dinner; he plans on going all night. As the two look at the menu, Logan seems to be playing with the table, which seems to be a bit wobbly. However, they make do and move on with their dinner.

"My OCD can't handle this table." James states as he pushes against the wooden surface, making it tip precariously back and forth.

"Wobbly table or not, this is perfect James! I can't wait to see what else you have up your sleeve!" Logan answers, chuckling softly as his boyfriend continues to push on the table. James looks up and smiles softly at his date, but what he doesn't expect is the insecurity to creep in when he sees the expectation in Logan's eyes, and just how much he is looking forward to this. What if James couldn't pull everything he had planned off? What if Logan hated everything? What if he broke up with James because he was so disgusted by everything? James felt beads of sweat start to form on his brow as all these thoughts swarmed his mind, his hands beginning to tremble.

The waiter comes to drop off their two complimentary glasses of water before each man decides on splitting a bottle of Merlot as their choice of drink for the evening. As they're waiting for their wine, James's throat goes dry and decides to take a swig of water. But, due to the trembling of James's hands and the condensation from the water glass, the glass slides out of James's hand, rolls onto the table, and splashes all over Logan's khaki pants.

"Oh my GOD, Logan! I am so sorry!" James yelps as he flies across the table, cloth napkin in hand, and starts to dry off Logan's wet pants. More specifically, his wet crotch. From all the commotion James had caused, every head in the dining hall was turned to the couple; Logan blushing deeply as his body naturally reacts to James ministrations.

"Ugh, James. You might want to take your seat. As kind as your gesture is, what you're doing right now does not look very good." Logan croaked out, pushing against James. The brunette finally realized what he was doing looked really, REALLY bad to the public eye.

"Oh." He whimpered, as he slowly climbed off Logan and returned to his seat, somehow blushing harder than Logan. Seems like nothing is going right tonight.

After each respected man calms down, the waiter returns with their drinks and promptly takes their orders for their meal. James decides on ordering a filet mignon while Logan decides on ordering a salmon, one of the house specials for the night. The waiter walks away, leaving James and Logan to continue on with the night.

In the midst of an awkward silence between the two men, the waiter comes rushing back.

"I'm so terribly sorry, but we are all out of the salmon for the night. Is there anything else I can get you?" the waiter pleadingly asks of Logan.

"No salmon? No SALMON? Seriously? Are you fucking joking right now? What the hell, man, is there some salmon shortage that we weren't informed about? Did the salmon not swim upstream and SPAWN? Logan wants salmon, and my Logie gets what he wants, so I DEMAND salmon, damnit!" James shouted, flying up from his chair to get in the poor waiter's face.

"James, god, calm down! I will order something else! You're making a scene." Logan loudly whispers the last part.

"Oh" James looks around the restaurant, he takes note on how some people are enjoying the spectacle while some are pretending they're not listening but you totally know they are, and some are just involved within themselves not caring what else is going on in the restaurant. He quickly takes a seat while Logan orders another fish dish from the menu. As the waiter hastily retreats to the kitchen.

The previous awkward silence returned with a vengeance, James mentally kicking himself for ruining what was supposed to be the perfect date. That's when he heard a small snort from Logan. He looked up to see Logan's face contorted in holding back laughter, but as soon as their eyes met, Logan lost it.

"Oh my god, if you weren't so damn adorable, this would be classified as the worst date ever!" Logan blurts out after he gets his laughter under control.

James, clearly offended by Logan's outburst, slid out of his seat and stormed off to the bathroom.

James stood in front of the large mirror, staring at his reflection, trying to get his raging emotions under control. He was so embarrassed that this was turning out to be such a shitty date. They hadn't even gotten through their meal, and it was ruined beyond repair. He turned on the water, splashing the cool liquid onto his still blushing cheeks, taking the edge off the burn. Looking back up, he saw Logan pop his head into the room.

"Knock knock!" He called out, entering fully, before wrapping his arms around James' lean frame.

"I'm sorry for laughing. It wasn't meant maliciously." Logan apologizes, trying to make James feel better.

James leans into Logan's embrace. "I know, I'm just so fed up with myself right now. This never happens to me, I'm usually the king of suave and everything usually goes my way. But the one time it actually means something, it all goes to shit. I'm sorry Logan, I wanted you to have a good memory of our one month anniversary.

"The night is still young." Logan whispers into James's ear, leaving James flustered and turned on once again. How James is going to get through this dinner, no one will ever know.

The two men return to the table hand in hand, all ready to finish the rest of their disastrous fancy meal. But, the night seems to turn around when the meal was served, each man eating his ordered dish. The rest of the meal was filled with mindless banter, good food, and really good wine. James insisted on paying the bill, saying, "that he was the man" in this relationship, which Logan responded to by rolling his eyes, and relenting the fight.

"So, your place or mine?" James suggests when they reach James's car.

"Uhhhh, I guess yours is fine."

"Awesome, I just don't want this night to end. Can you spend the night?"

Logan's eyes bug out, clearly misinterpreting James's suggestion. Logan's clearly not ready to have sex with James just yet, but he's almost there.

"I don't know if I'm ready to take that step with you yet, I mean we've only been together a month. Let's just let the chips fall where they may." Logan reasons with James.

"Johnny Cash called, he wants his song back." James teases Logan.

"What's with you and your hatred towards my metaphors."

"Sorry we're all not smart like you Logan, but truthfully your metaphors are cute, you're so damn adorable, I just love making you laugh."

"Let's be serious here, back to the situation at hand, I'm not ready to go all the way just yet, but I will be eventually." Logan amends

"So you're not ready to just sleep with me in a bed all night where we could possibly cuddle? And actually cuddle this time, instead of me being a drunken retard?" James teases Logan.

Logan, clearly feeling foolish from the misunderstanding, blushes and says "Oh, well I guess that can't hurt."

"Awesome, this will be fun, I promise." James promises Logan.

They make their way back to James's apartment, where they quickly make themselves comfortable. James lends Logan a pair of his sweats and they both quickly change into them.

"How about a movie? Your choice?" James asks Logan.

"Sure, sounds nice." Logan chooses a DVD and places it in the DVD player. James scoots over on the couch, leaving room for Logan. However, once Logan sits, James puts his arm around him, engulfing him in James's arms. They watch most of the movie this way, but then Logan seems to get an idea. He reaches up and plants an unexpected, but surely not unwelcomed kiss on James's lips. As they proceed, things start to get a little heated. James pauses their ministrations and looks Logan dead in the eyes.

"Logan, what are you doing? Not that I don't love what you're doing" James asks, clearly amused and curious.

"Just sit back and relax, you've had a stressful night, let me make it up to you." Logan says in his best seductive voice. James almost bursts out laughing at Logan's attempt at being sultry. But nonetheless, he bits his lip, and lets Logan continue with what he has planned.

After a few minutes of just kissing, Logan slowly maneuvers his way onto James's lap, trying to get as much as he can out of the moment. When Logan feels he's ready to proceed, his right hand travels down from James's hand, to James's right peck, down James's obvious six-packed chest, making its final destination at James's crotch. James moans in appreciation, and Logan can tell why, James is hard. Logan softly palms James's crotch, all the while James's moans are getting louder.

"Common Logie, stop teasing." James demands.

"Just wait, we aren't finished." Logan teases.

Logan then slips his hand underneath the waistband of James's sweats, feeling how James is indeed going commando under the sweats. He's taken a back for a moment, but then proceeds with confidence as he maneuvers his hand around James's flesh. He feels for the first time what James has to offer, and as far as he can tell, James surely isn't lacking in the size department. _No wonder why all the ladies and men love him_. He puts that thought away as he continues stroking James, loving the way James sounds when he moans, he's addicted to that sound. He feels James's precum dripping down the shaft, using it as lubrication. Wondering how James tastes, Logan lowers his head down to James's tip, licking hesitantly. When Logan deems the taste bearable, he continues down the entire length of James's penis, trying to fit as much as he can in without gagging. He manages to get most of James down, and James tries as hard as he can not to thrust into Logan's mouth, no matter how warm and inviting Logan is. Logan adds some sucking and pressure onto James's dick, hoping James loves his attempt at a blowjob.

"Ngh, Logan, so good… Where did you learn how to do this?" James asks in between moans. It's truthfully amazing how James was able to form a sentence.

Logan pops James out of his mouth, making an erotic pop, "Oh you know, at some place." Logan winks "Now, let me finish you off."

Logan picks up where he left off, moving up and down the shaft of James's dick. Logan can tell James is close, but he wants to prolong it as long as he can, knowing an orgasm always is more powerful when it's more built up (he is a doctor after all). He hums around James's dick, knowing the vibrations will make James feel more at pleasure.

"Logan, I'm so close… help me." James pleads

Logan answers to James's plea and amps up his sucking and stroking. Not even a minute later, James whimpers and lets out some sort of warning as he cums powerfully into Logan's mouth. Logan takes it like a champ, swallowing all James has to offer, while milking James for all he has. Once James complains of being too sensitive, Logan releases James and pulls up his pants.

James, clearly sated and speechless, "Logan… how?"

"Just enjoy the surprise and lets finish the movie, eh?"

As they both notice the movie title screen playing on the tv, the two quietly shut the tv off and make their way into James's bedroom. The two of them relax into bed, while James pulls Logan into his chest. Logan listens to James's heart, and feels he can get used to listening to this every night.

"Oh… my god… Logan… You must be hard? Do you want me to…" James asks.

"Don't worry, we have all night." Logan winks.

James fulfills his wish, as the two both spend the night sated, warm, and most of all, together.


	11. Epilogue

_**AN: After some debate, I've come to the conclusion that this chapter will be the last for this story. To all who have followed/reviewed/fav'd this story since the beginning, I cannot begin to thank you enough. All of you gave me the strength and motivation to continue this story. **_

_**It's so weird to think about how I started this story back in December, and now it's March. Where has the time gone? Seriously, I can't even get my head wrapped around the fact that this is the final chapter for my first fanfiction story. **_

_**With that being said, I have another story that will be co-written once again by my best friend ilovecarlospena93. I will get around to posting it soon, as I'm very anxious to get that ball rolling. **_

_**Again, a million thank yous to my best friend Christa (ilovecarlospena93) in all her help for this story. If it weren't for your help and support (and late night Skype sessions), this story wouldn't nearly have been as good (or grammatically correct) as it is. Thank you for everything, and I love you!**_

_**So without further a do, the final (epilogue) chapter to A Heart to Heart with a Plastic Surgeon. **_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush, or anything you may recognize. **_

~6 years later~

"Logan! Do we have any frames for this? I don't want it to get dirty!" James bellows from the other room.

Logan comes walking in, holding the perfect frame to fit James's official certificate that shows he completed all he needed to become a plastic surgeon. Logan has been saving that frame since James completed his shadow duties with Logan all those years ago.

"Will this work?" Logan says with a shy smile, handing the monogrammed frame to his boyfriend of six years.

James's heart could be found in a puddle on the floor. His eyes misted as Logan handed him the frame. James gently fingered the edge and feeling from the weight, he could tell it was no dollar store purchase.

"I've saved the perfect spot for it, right next to mine in the study." Logan suggests, "Why don't we go to there now so we can put your hard work on display. I want everyone who walks in here to know how proud I am of my sexy plastic surgeon fian- fantastic boyfriend." Logan catches himself, he doesn't want to give away the surprise prematurely.

The two of them walked hand in hand to the study. Since deciding on moving in with each other 5 years ago (the two deciding on selling their old places and collaboratively purchasing a new duplex penthouse condo), the study has been a place of sanctuary for the two men. If Logan was working on documents on the computer, James would be right there on the loveseat studying for his exams. Sometimes the two of them would just go to the study just to detach themselves from the outside world for a bit, cuddling or even, as James liked to call it, having sexy times.

They entered their sanctuary and James immediately went to the wall space where Logan and James kept their certificates and diplomas. Another certificate will be added to their collection, and James couldn't be any happier.

"So James, why don't you see where you want your certificate to go…" Logan offhandedly suggests.

James turns his back to Logan and begins to search out the perfect spot on the wall for it. James couldn't help but feel at times that he was holding Logan back from accomplishing everything he wished to. There were days he didn't know why he had even gone into med school, because how could he ever measure up to Logan? His boyfriend was a certifiable genius, and James was just...average. Or so he thought. Logan had told him time and time again that that wasn't the case. But as James stared at the license that proclaimed him a plastic surgeon, he felt proud of himself for the first time ever. He felt as though he had overcome such a huge mountain, had made it to the other side, only because Logan had been there every step of the way. Even though James sometimes felt he was out of Logan's league, right now he felt at peace.

Pulling himself out of his thoughts, James begins to turn around, saying "Logie, you're right, this is the perfect spo-o-o...What are you doing?"

He jumped back at the sight of Logan kneeling on one knee, his brown eyes filled to the brim with tears. "I'm proposing you idiot!" Logan responded, his voice thick with emotions.

It's weird how James was just in a reverie about him not feeling adequate for Logan, and yet here Logan is showing James the epitome of how much he loves him. It's almost as if Logan read James's mind, it seems like Logan could always do that, and vice versa.

"Logan...I."

"No, don't say anything yet, I have this all planned out, let me say what I need to say!"

Logan takes a deep breath, working up to what he's going to say.

"To quote my favorite song by The Cab: 'I'm not perfect, but I swear I'm perfect for you. Yeah I'm no angel, I'm just me, but I will love you endlessly'. Baby, I know you don't think you measure up, but I am here to tell you that you are the most beautiful, caring, spontaneous, amazing man I have ever met. I know I sound cheesy, but I really don't give a shit. You are all I have ever thought about, before I even met you. I know our first meeting wasn't straight out of a fairy tale, but look at how far we've come? James, you are my dream come true, you are my fairy tale, and I want to continue on this journey, and I want you to be beside me as my husband. Not my boyfriend, my colleague, my friend, or my one time shadow, I want you to be my husband. So I guess there is only one more thing to say. James Diamond. Will you marry me?" Logan reaches into his jeans pocket and takes out the infamous velvet ring box.

James put his hands to his face, and started to loudly sob. The man, who he was undeniably in love with, just gave him the best proposal he sure has ever been given. Logan, still on bended knee, then opens the ring box to premiere to James a platinum band with 3 mini diamonds in the center. James finally feels deserving of Logan's love, and he no longer has any doubts. What he needed to hear was in that proposal. Logan patiently waits for James to calm down.

After, to Logan, what felt like a lifetime of waiting, James calms down enough to give Logan his answer.

"Logan… of course." And the smile James sends Logan makes Logan know he made the right choice. The two of them will have their forever, and nothing is going to stop them.

Logan is so overjoyed; he grabs James by the collar of his shirt, and brings him in to a smoldering kiss, projecting what he feels through the movement of his lips and tongue against James'. James, clearly feeling the same, puts his all into it, and shows Logan just how much it all means to him. But before things can get heated…

"Oh, let me put the ring on your finger." Logan remembers, and as he puts the ring on James's left ring finger he says "take a look at what the inscription says."

James takes a close look at the inside of the band, and he sees "you're perfect for me." And once again, fat tears make their way down James's face. It's like Logan lives inside his mind, and once again, makes James feel better about everything. After the ring is secured onto James's finger, James drags Logan back in to finish what they started before. Hands and mouths were everywhere, never leaving a moment in between to breathe. James picks Logan up, bridal style, and with mouths still connected, runs to their master bedroom. As they reach the room, James delicately places Logan on the bed and replaces the covers around Logan's body with his own body.

"Make love to me" Logan requests.

"You betcha." James answers.

James takes his time, not wanting to rush anything. It was all about love, and thanking Logan for all he has done for him. Logan has changed James, definitely for the better. James never used to take anything too seriously; used to bed many men and women, and he didn't believe in monogamy. But Logan has shown James what James has been missing all along, love. James graciously strips Logan of his clothing, exposing all of Logan to James. Now, James and Logan have made love many times over the past 6 years, but for some reason, James feels as if it's their first time all over again. After exploring Logan's body, Logan decides James's clothes need to go; he too is craving what's underneath. Discarded clothing left to the floor, the two move against each other, feeling their desire hot and hard. Logan swiftly reaches into the nightstand and grabs the lube and hands it to James. James coats three fingers, and one by one, they enter Logan, stretching him in order to prepare for what's yet to come.

"Ngh, James, please no more teasing." Logan moans.

"Don't worry baby, there's no rush." And with a smile, James takes out his three fingers and replaces it with himself. He enters Logan slowly; making sure Logan can properly adjust. Even though they've done this numerous times, every time James still makes sure that Logan is in minimal to no pain. Once James is buried to the hilt, he waits for Logan's permission to proceed. After Logan gives James the final nod, James begins to pull out and push back in patterned thrusts. James knows now where Logan's sweet spot is, so now with every thrust, he makes Logan squeal. The sensual lovemaking, as amazing as it always is, has to come to an end eventually, and Logan can sense now when James is about to finish. Since James always makes sure they finish together, James grips Logan, stroking him in time with his thrusts. It's not that much longer until they're both screaming out each other's names, and giving into their desires.

They relish their post-coital bliss for a little while. James trails his fingers down Logan's arm, making Logan shiver from the gentle caresses. James and Logan are quiet, each basking in the glow of being together, and now their impending marriage.

"Hey Logan, you know what I could go for?" James says to Logan.

"What?"

"I could go for some French roast." And with that James cracks up, bringing them back full circle.

"Come here you." And with that, Logan drags James into his embrace, fully ready to embark on round two. And ready to commence their forever together.

~~The End~~

_**As I sit here at 4:05am EDT, it finally hits me that I've accomplished finishing my first fanfiction story. I have so many things to say, so just bear with me. Or just don't read. **_

_**Firstly, a huge thank you to all who have reviewed, followed, and fav'd this story. It means a lot to me that people actually want to take the time and read what I've written. If it wasn't for all of you, I would've given up a long time ago and just stuck to reading on this website. I feel so grateful to you all. Even though I haven't gotten the time to respond back to a lot of reviews, it doesn't mean I don't appreciate it. I do, more than you can imagine. The reviews helped me power through some personal hardships I faced while writing this story, and they helped picked me up. **_

_**Secondly, a huge thank you to the Big Time Rush boys, for without them, I would have no inspiration. I've been in love with the fandom for almost 2.5 years now, and it's amazing how I'm still going strong about them after all this time. It's so much fun to write about them, I will always have endless ideas. These 4 boys have given me more than they could ever possibly know, and I am forever grateful for their existence.**_

_**Lastly (but surely not least), a humongous thank you to Christa. She was the one that gave me the final push to write for this website. She's been there through it all, the writer's block, the personal struggles, and even more. She is the one that looks over everything at 4:15am, making sure my grammar makes sense. I truthfully can't picture my life without her in it anymore, she's quickly become someone I can truly trust and lean on. Whenever I needed help in how to say something, she always has the answer. In fact, there's a piece of her in every chapter. It was fate how we met, and it's fate now that we continue to grow with each other. Thank you, Christa, for everything. And I am looking forward to working on my next project together. **_

_**Also, there will not be a sequel of any sorts to this story. Sorry for those who possibly wanted one.**_

_**Be sure to keep me on author alert if you are interested in reading my upcoming story: **_

_**Hazard to Myself**_

_**Jagan slash**_

_**Summary: For Logan life just wasn't worth living when there was nothing to live for. But once he realizes he can not actually bring himself to take his own life, he knows he must put it in the hands of someone else.**_


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